I guess... today is the start of my 3rd year alone. 2 years ago she said "we drifted" and me and my MS butt started living all alone after nearly 24 years, and a promise during the DX that she would be there forever.

funny thing though, 48 hours after we split some pain my shoulder disappeared, 2 months later I had my last cigarette

One year, nine months, three weeks, six days, 16 hours, 48 minutes and 59 seconds. 20031 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,508.87. Life saved: 9 weeks, 6 days, 13 hours, 15 minutes.

Good decision on the cigs Larry. I also started back up several months ago, due to serious relationship issues, but decided that with all my health problems....I couldn't afford the added risk factors of cigarrete smoking. So...I quit it just as suddenly as I had picked it up.

Looking like I may be single again too. My hubbie says that he's alays there for me (and always will be), then turns right around and starts yelling at me for:
1. forgetting things
2. not doing as much as I used to
3. not working and contributing to the bills, although he's the one who insisted that I not work anymore due to my declining health
4. Not coming to him as often as I used to (hard to do when he's always yelling and mad at me)
5. List goes on....

He keeps me so upset that when he's around anymore, my tremors, pain, and many other symptoms go through the roof! I know it's b/c he puts me under soooo much stress. All of my friends/family see it also, and are mad at me for staying with him. Afraid to leave b/c of insurance benefits, secerity of a home, scared I won't be able to make it through a day of work (at least not as a speech Path.); want someone around in case I need them for various reasons. I enjoy being alone sometimes, yet I'm afraid of being alone. Does this make any sense to anyone?? I guess if I had my rathers, I would rather have a hubbie who was more understanding, compassionate, and caring...and who doesn't yell and scream at me like a drill seargeant (sp?) all the time!
~Tonya

She sounds caring & concerned, you are fortunate to have that loving support.

This disease weeds 'em out, there are significant others that go belly up wondering how this disease is going to impact *their* lives.

Maybe *that's* the 'MS inconvenience' whatserface refers to.

You are very lucky to have such an understanding partner... Really, you are truly blessed! xoxoxo Cj (Cindyjo)

with over 30 years of give and take..cut your spouse some slack and and as hard as it is....don't take it personally.....in other words...now is not the time to say goodbye.....I have been through his weaknesses and now my weaknesses...and we both have said "improper" "cruel" on retrospect....but...we are all only human....so you have a "real illness".....it does have consequences that your love may not handle "correctly"....give her time and you time....this is so life changing.....did you marry a saint???

In some ways, I think it's a good time for me to not have a significant other. I can handle whatever life throws at me. I just don't want to put anyone through my struggles right now.
I think everything happens for a reason, I'll say again.
It's always better, Tonya, if people can work out their problems. I wish you the best.

Anne, Jim, after I dried my tears, Anne are you a writer, you should be, that is my story exactly, only I have the MS. You are a Saint and Jim for knowing and living it and trying to keep it as happy as can be is also a Saint. You two are an inspiration to all those couples ready to call it quits, Im nominating this if I may with your permission to inspirational. My husband of almost 24 now years is filing tomorrow with the attorney for a divorce. He says its not the MS of 7 years but other things before. BS. We had a wonderful soul mate kind of love. The MS and watching this vibrant ,funny, happy 12 hour a day person go from that to what the disease does , well he can't handle it. I can imagine it is hard. you want to go to a bar and stumble out again with the old Jim, but you are there. Mine can't take it anymore, if only he would have turned towards me and not away. But its too late. Im am so scared and alone and at 46, still RRMS.

But yesterday, middle of grocery store, I couldn't walk anymore, every nerve ending hit, middle tow left leg numb, i started to tear up trying to figure out what to do next, my daughter home from college came and got me a wheel chair to my car, checked me out, loaded and unloaded etc. it just hit. You are lucky to have each other, keep the faith and please keep communicating to each other. There are ways to still hits those bars, and beeches and everything for a happy life. Just modify, at least you can still hold his hand in bed at night.
Cheers
Dragonfly (mimi)

Tonya, I read your entry and would like to talk more. I could carbon copy your entry and hang it on my fridge!
Dragonfly (Mimi)

My fiance has MS and we have been together four years. He was diagnosed about two years ago. I will do anything for him that I can. I support him 100%. I love him a lot and want to spend the rest of my life with him. His MS is not going to stop me from loving him the way I do.

Bump

This is one of my fears. My SO and I have been together almost a year and a half, and I was diagnosed in December. He says he is here for me and will not leave, but there is a part of me that is still afraid, just because I know how hard and how devestating it all can be. I don't know if he truly gets how bad things can get, even though I try to tell him. I guess I just have to have faith in his love for me and us.