THAT is a doosh thing to say! I'm sorry, but just because you have a chronic illness DOES NOT mean you stop living. You just live with the life God gave you now & make the best of it. YES, this disease & associated diseases effect each one of us differently, but does that mean we give up & say to hell with it? NO! Even if some days almost kill us health wise, well...

"Each new day is another chance to make the day a little more manageable than the day before!"

What your dad said was HIS hang up about not being able to accept your disease...HIS reaction to your disease, NOT your disease itself & the course it will take with you. ONLY you know what your body does on a daily basis.

Sure! People can get left because of a chronic illness & people can get left for a multitude of other reasons as well.

ONLY YOU & your Boyfriend know how you feel about each other & the love you have & your dad's opinion of that, is just that, an opinion...Nothing else!

If you & your boyfriend love each other...that's all that matters truly!

Take care,
Stay sane!

Hi Ricanfemale, You are so young! It sux that you have MS. I was diagnosed with MS when I was 39. Too bad ur so young :- ( I say that cuz what I have found out thru the years is that only people with MS understand/feel what other people with MS are going through. It is a very isolating disease. I mean that in the way that even though you may be in the middle of hundreds of people you still feel alone. My opinion on what ur dad said is.....I think he's only being realistic and it's only his crude way of getting you not depend too much on your bf for $$$, support, caring, love or anything. He maybe wants to express to you that you need to stay close to him cuz he will always be there for you. Boyfriends come and go.

i am so sorry your father said that... realistic? ok, this is an awful analogy, but my dad is addictec to grey's anatomy and there was an episode where an engaged couple found out the man could die at any minute. at first his fiance denied it, hoping for clouds and butterflies in their future, then while he was in surgery, she bailed.

yeah, it can happen, when you're with a shallow heartless individual, but one of the things i've realized since being this sick where i can no longer hide my symptoms is 1) who my real friends are and 2) who are the kind people in the world.

i'm 28 and last week i literally felt i was dying. people rallied around me (though not my parents, i'll adress that in a sec) and i got through it. they are the ones who when i complain about needing diapers say, "do whatever helps you" and it touches me.

now if i listened to people in denial, who think i'm faking, who just can't see reality as it is and may become, well they're the ones who tell me i'll be all alone and have no future.

my father once told me that the answer to my clinical depression was a husband.

see what i mean? they think they're helping but they hurt you more than anyone because of their own issues and fears.

again, i am so sorry he said that to you; that's something he needs to only share in therapy, know what i mean? he's scared, ok. you're the one dealing with it. don't shut out your boyfriend and others because of his baggage and don't for a second think you'll be alone because of what he said in a low (and obtuse) moment..

with a cane, struggling to walk, and jerking around a bit, i still get hit on... it's about beauty sometimes, but it's also about my strength and confidence. as people stare at this obviously sick cripple, i walk around with my head held high. the right kind of people recognize our strength and that we are more than our capabilities and illnesses.

i am applying for disability and yeah, i get extremely sad from time to time. that's ok. it's not fair; i should be able to work for decades still.. my friends are in grad school, marrying, working... i struggle to get through the day sometimes...

but the people who love me are sticking by me.

it is no one's place to tell you your future, rican.

If he is going to leave, he will leave now or later. The disease will not go away.

It is horrible you have this at a young age. Listen to your heart.

There are men out there who will fall in love with you if you have MS. Others will leave because of it. Better to know at the start if he will stay or leave.

Do not try and hide it, cause if they are gonna leave, they WILL leave. Men do not stay out of obligation like women do.

Honey, think with your heart AND mind.

Best wishes,
Lorrie

my husband of 26 years has really shown me alot lately. I always thought he was sticking with me out of obligaton, 3 kids and all the years we've been together. Recently I broke my wrist and my MS decided to hit me full force. I couldn't walk. My husband became my knight in shining armour. He rallied our 3 kids and his 2 sisters, who are nurses to come help out. His brother fixed the wall I broke when i fell. I feel so loved. My point was....don't give up on relationships, some people will surprise you.

Hey Rica,
That's not true! When I wasyounger I used to think that. I was sick sick when I met my husband and he still loves me. Sometimes that's not always a bad thing. People want to feel needed and wanted. It's that whole needing top feel like your important thing. If it doesn't work out with ur bf then hey better to find it out before you get to serious. I have frioends who are single and there's nothing wrong with them. Just remeber there's someone for ya =). The whole working thing hey I've never been able to work and you know whaqt it's ok. I know it's hard but just think of it this way. Do you have dream that you might want to accomplish that working is preventing you from? That's what I think when I feel bad. That's waht ssi is for anyways for people like us. Cheer up things will get better. Just live one day at a time and ignore what your dad says he sounds like he doesn't give good advice anyways.

That is a lousy thing for your Dad to say. I hope your boyfriend is a keeper. Find out as much as you can about his views on marriage. My husband had the belief that Divorce was not an option before I had trouble with mobility. So, I knew (as much as possible) that I had a keeper. I heard this great saying, I think john Wooden said it. "Sports don't build character, they reveal it." I like to turn it around and replace sports with the word "troubles". My husband recently told me that he thinks he has become a better person because of my disease. H has learned to have a less selfish attitude and a servants heart. So, MS might eventually take a lot of things from us that we like to do. But we are more than what we do. And just because your dad said it , doesn't make it true. I agree it is more about your dads crap. Tell him to load in on himself, not you. Never give up!

thanks everybody!! I was so sad to hear that! although try in some cases I would like to trhink that's not everyone..as proven here...I mentioned it once with my bf he got mad and said I'm not goin anywhere... so in the end..dad you suck for love advice at times lol honey I love u even though u don't read this..and thanks everyone..
it just sux everyone thinks of it on the bad days.....damn the bad days!

I had to help my now-husband understand that people leave when they're unhappy. Whether they're single or married, have kids or not, healthy or disabled. It's all about giving all your love for as long as you can. Be glad and enjoy the ride!