Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
Venting for no reason other than to get it out of my system. I'm not complaining, by any means, but I was walking down the hall here at work, and one of the ladies that works here followed me into the workroom. She took me aside and said, "You look like you're having trouble today. Are you okay?" I just told her I was having a little trouble walking and I was okay. Then she told me I should get a cane. I don't know what did it - the fact that she noticed I was walking funny, the fact that she pointed it out, or her recommending the inevitable but not yet necessary cane, but I started crying. I DO NOT cry at work. I had to hurry back to my office and close the door. Anyway, now that has set the tone for my entire day. I just want to go home and hide. I don't want to be noticed. I don't want to be pitied. I don't want to be tired or walk funny. This whole thing is getting really old really fast.
Kristi
Kristi
People make comments from time to time to me, usually out of kindness. I try to make light of them or ignore things as best I can. I am very matter of fact about my MS to them.
I think about our condition at work like this: if I wore a big purple hat and a green jacket every day, people would stare and make remarks. But after seeing it every day and every day and every day, they would stop "seeing" them. The same can be said of your disability. People will stop noticing it after a while if you "wear" it every day -- especially if you are not making a big deal out of it.
So, I acknowledge my MS but act like it's no big deal. It works for me. One time I was thinking out loud about bringing in a motorized scooter to work, I commented that the biggest problem I would have is keeping people from trying to joy ride on it. People responded and laughed. It puts them at ease when you are at ease about it.
Hang in there, you'll get tougher and it will get better. Don't give up.
I can also understand about the sudden crying. It can be very confronting when someone takes notice of us when we are having trouble but dont appreciate being told to get a cane, that is taking it a bit too far for sure.
I guess it is how to handle this sort of thing in future. All I do when someone suggests using something or doing something different is say something like, I am considering that & will get it when I need to. At the moment I am copin just sometimes are harder than others. Or another thing I did one time when a coworker suggested i would be better in a wheelchair as I was struggling with walker was - I have thought of it, they are very expensive, are you offering to chip in? & laughed, they have never mentioned it again & I got out of the situaton that could have been quite awkward.
We mostly dont want to be noticed for health issues & any comments can be hard, I had to learn my own ways of coping with comments & I choose laughter & make fun of it too sometimes. Others I really dont have energy or thought process to deal with it & I just say having a bad day, lets change the subject. That doesnt give them a chance to say more at all.
Take care of yourself & dont let others pry more than you want them to
Still havnt done that... but I do have a pretty purple one :)
And the cane, hey, I know what you are talking about. I love my cane and I get compliments all the time on it. It came from a hiking store and it is solid wood and really is cool so I have no problem using this cane. Try to find one that is different and part of your accessories to make your like easier. I know I don't want people pitying me either. So I demand respect and expect it now. If they don't treat me right, I say something. So ignore it. Eventually they won't really notice it. They will just notice the you in you, if that makes any sense.
The he** with what people say! Thanks for sharing. We have all been there. Keep venting.