Never! All the time! Depends on the day but we are who we are and we are survivors and at least we make the attempt. I, for 1, am so proud of you for taking this step and meeting new people and getting out there. If anyone asks, just wistfully say I have MS and am doing fine thank you. Moving on. Good for you. I am constantly asking my husband "Am I walking ok today is anyone noticing?" I wish I had someone to have lunch with. Take that leap and go for it and walk proud with or without the cane. One more thing - have fun!

Hi Choppel,
It's SharonMom. Yes I was embarrassed for awhile that I have to use a 4-wheeled walker to walk safely. It took me over a year after I was diagnosed with M.S. to get back to church. Because I wanted to worship God like everyone else and not be different. But then God told me that I am different because most people do not have Multiple Sclerosis. He said that I should not let my disease keep me from going to His house. So me and my husband started going to Church and soon found a wonderful Christian church. They even have handicapped seating, so my walker stays with me during the service. Church is now the highlight of my week. Hope this helps!

I remember the first few times I used the cart in the grocery store and I was pretty embarrassed. But I got over that over time. I do not worry about it now and complain if theirs is not working. I find that if I do not act different and look people in the eye, there is less embarrassment on both parts. Try to act natural (HA, I know easy to say, harder to do).

But congrats on going out and meeting new people. I went to dinner to one of the "Meetups" for a political group tonight and I was OK with it. And they seemed to be OK with it. And I told these guys that I had MS. But we had a political agenda to deal with, so the heck with my MS. Go for it!!

Try to go through your comfort zone and maybe you'll get comfortable. At least that is what I tell myself!!

Congrats on doing it.

sadly enough, I find myself looking at the elderly folks who use the wheel walkers...and I look with a sort of envy! I know my therapist told me to think about getting one of those. Now, I find myself watching, and wondering...will that be a better thing?
The thought of using one embarrasses me, but at the same time, I think not falling while walking would be a good thing!

So, it is up to me to decide whether I want to just accept the "looks" of others, or if I just want to be able to get around without stumbling, and without always needing to stop and sit down?

Just my 2 cents on this one.

sheriz

I fell at church once... last Mother's Day... while holding my baby. As I fell, I held onto him tight trying to not throw or drop him, but I ended up pinning him between myself and a door jam. He wasn't injured, but was very upset and screaming. Of course, the look on the faces of people watching was devastating to me. I had sprained my ankle and had to crawl out of the pathway before I could recover enough to limp to my car. Thank goodness my 14 year old daughter was there and able to care for and console her baby brother. I guess that experience went beyond embarrassing. I was ashamed... for risking my son's safety. I rarely walk holding him now... and that day is the reason.

I have fallen plenty of other times before and since then... and have sprained both ankles a lot... but have never even been embarrassed all of those times. I will say that each time, onlookers have waited and watched to help me if I needed it. It has been really reassuring to know how good people are and that I can count on strangers for compassion.

I have used canes and wheeled walkers a few times and noticed many looks of pity or puzzlement. It is hard to deal with... but I have to focus on walking and remember that I am dealing with MS honorably and with respect for myself... whether onlookers understand or care. I notice so many people, some older and some not, with similar issues... so I do not feel alone or embarrassed in the struggle to walk... in public.... where I don't know anyone. The challenge comes when I'm around people I know. Such pressure!

I am sure you are up to the challenge though. You sound like a great friend and I'm sure your lunch will be great... with a cane or without one. Good luck!

Your 53 right? Maybe it's cause you just look younger that it bugs you so. Hehe!

Try being 33 & looking 23 & having to use a walker & have a handicap placard & use the disabled parking spaces & get older (the ones who feel that once the hit some benchmark old age, that handicap spaces are their rightful place...disabled or not...who cares if I can't walk)...

But I'm of the mind that "Michael J. Fox" is..."the first thing to go is vanity!"

I really truly believe that! Sure, I have days where I feel so bad, that I WANT to put on make up so I at least look kind of nice so I don't look as crap-ass as I truly feel, but most days I just put on make up or don't out of my own creative choice of expressing myself & not letting this disease take away all my abilities. Like..."I'm gonna get dolled up today & it may take a million years, but darn it, I feel like crap & at least when I walk by a mirror I can at least know I tried my best despite it all!"

Other days...my body is just so freaking done & I would rather get somewhere & enjoy being there with someone, then be worn out before I even hit the car door or before, cause on days like that, it's even before I woke up...so I forgo the primping & vanity is out the window.

BUT...on either day...it's not about vanity...it's just about giving it all you got despite it all & rising above as best as is possible & some days are more possible than others.

Take care,
Stay sane!

P.S...I'm sure you all read my post reply about taking a turn wrong with my walker down a disabled ramp & ending up in the bushes on the side as my walker tumbles over the top of me...

Only reason my family & Fiance found me is I'm such a klutzy loudmouth & as I took a tumble down the ramp you hear me screaming (this was as we were leaving a restaurant no less)..."WHOA WHOA WHOA! I'M GOING I'M GOING I'M GOING I'M GOING!"...

You either get embarrassed, break out the video camera & win $10,000 or laugh...since my Mom was too busy grabbing me to record me on her cell phone & my Fiance doesn't have a video camera, we all chose to laugh. HA!...I mean, what else can you do?

Crying would suck & running across the parking lot & ducking into a get away car would hurt & would seriously be physically impossible to boot.

So, All I'm saying my friend is this...don't feel alone. Things happen when you can't move right & that's OK. It doesn't change who you are inside. It doesn't change your personality, your heart. That will always shine through.

& the morel of the story is this my friend...when the chips are down...you will always know who your true friends are who love you for exactly who you are & when you happen to literally fall flat on your ass, they are the ones who will literally be there with there hands out ready, willing & able to pick you right back up again because they care & love you that much.

So don't fret, your true friends will always be there when you need them most & vice versa.

embarrassed? humiliated more like. I don't walk as much as stagger, struggle, lurch (that's where he got his name from right) and labour to the point it is embarrassing to WATCH let alone do. So I don't. I've retired from life and unless it's on my scooter, I don't go out.

I have opted for isolation over humiliation, as I once said before and whilst I'm not proud of myself for not being able to rise above my freakishness, at least I do so in my own privacy.

I have felt like this every since my limp got back and now i need two canes. Old men take pitty on me and open doors for me. LOL so yes i have been there.

i'm 28 and when i go out people think i'm mentally gone as well as physically. My mind still works i swear! i think because i'm so young that people think i've had this since birth!

i'm very proud of you for venturing out anyway!

Me too. I m learning to humble myself. i am less concerned with appearances, but there are days where I am self conscious. I hate the stares too. I am sorry you are feeling this way. I am sorry for all of us.

One day I was going into the local K-MART store. I was using a cane that day. An old man and his wife walked by me and the old man said, "Look! A cripple!". I wanted to cry. I still want to cry when I think about how I felt that day.
I still get looks when I use a disabled parking spot. However, being I'm about to turn 55 I don't care as much as I used to.
However, this was a living hell for me when I was still in my '30s. :(
Some people are so very cruel that it makes me sick.

I sort of feel the same way as you. I've been walking"funny" now almost everyday for 5 months. I don't feel so much embarassed, I feel more annoyed with people I know and don't know, starring at me, asking me,"what's wrong with your leg? I'm really sick of it!!!
I want things to go back to the way they were with no MS. My hands are even moving weird now.
I know I just have to adjust, but this has all happened so fast for me.
I feel lost and completely alone. Okay, sorry for ranting.
This whole MS thing has just taken me for such a loop, don't know how to adjust emotionally.
Let me know how your coping, want to help if I can!

I laugh at myself alot. And oddly enough that tends to make people uncomfortaable. But only because they don't understand what I could possibly find humorous about any of this.

Well I can walk!!!! I make not do it well and I stumble and fall quite a bit. But, I CAN WALK!!!! And I'm proud of that! You should be too. Every step we take is a step forward to not letting this BS defeat us.

And before this happened to you, did you pity people in walkers or wheel chairs? Probably not. So why would they pity you? Go to lunch with your head held high and walk in one foot in front of the other just like everyone else. Because the bottom line is....YOU CAN WALK!!! How great is that? Hugs to you.

yes I just went to sit by pool today and was nervouse to get up because of how I walk & messed up cordination:(

I'm 45 have been living with MS for last 25 yrs or so Dx in 06/11 after optic neuritis took most of the sight from my left eye. Foot drop got worse and heat is something that I can no longer tolerate, depression is always with me and I swear if I hear "Well you sure do look good," one more time, I think I'm goin to violate my probation. I have always been fortunate to "look good" , If I looked like I felt, I don't think I would recognize me,.I am well aware That I am not the same person I was even 3-5 years ago, The mental changes are the hardest to deal with I tried talking to my Step kids about 6-8 months before I went to the doctor to explain what I was going through and the problems I was having. Meant nothing to them and after the Dx they labeled it " my excuse", I like many here knew of their conditions long before a Dx was made , my eye doctor told me ten minutes after examining me. I hope you find better coping skills then I.