Although the loneliness is dreadful at times, I know that I made this choice to be alone with my ms. My ex husband was my best friend after out divorce but he passed about five years ago now. The last boyfrind I had saw me thru my diagnosis and the crucial part when I could barely walk. Once I got almost back to myself, he informed me that he didn't want to deal with it long term so we split. I never heard from him again. So I decided that probably no one wants me anyway so I don't set myself up to be rejected again.

My kids, 2, are grown and gone. One is out of state . the other can't deal with my disease and limitations, so I don't hear from her for months at a time. Holidays she spends with her inlaws, not me. I posted about this recently so I won't rehash that.

Anyway so all said I made the choice to be alone over four years ago after losing my best friend and mother in the same year.

I decided to work part time as my ssd will permit me to without losing benefits. so I am making friends again and getting out with people again. That helps a lot and isn't too emotionally threateninf. I got a job at JoAnn fabrics because I like crafts. Now my depression has lifted and I am even doing the crafts again in my time off, while I am not cleaning or taking care of necessary stuff, lol.

I just wonder how many are like me and have made the choice to be alone, too. And how you deal with the down sides of being alone. There are perks to being alone and I am getting used to it. I like only cleaning up after myself and not having to justify when I want to get out and take my time shopping or to the library or whateverl Ups and downs to any thing.

Any reply will be appreciated.