Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Contrary to Stephanies comment of being stuck in herself, I wish I could be stuck in an alter. I dont want to be here any more. I some times wish I could be stuck and end up in a psych ward forever just to avoid living. This living stuff is emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausting. There is such a disgust and disappointment with my PTSD right now that sometimes I wish I would stay in one of my alters that is silent and detached from the world and never return.
My adult children are the reasons many times that prevent me from doing that. I finally realized that even as adults they still need a Mom. My therapist explains to me that my children should not be the only source for me to stay alive. That God has a plan for my life. I would like to know what that is. Like... I need a big neon sign because I still do not know what that is. Right now I feel like I have wasted my life working on the survival of my past and it just keeps creeping into my present. How can anybody even hope for the future when we cant even nor want to stay in the present?
Im a Christian, but at times I feel so discouraged in waiting on God to help me. I know that faith is something we hope for yet do not see. Im hoping for happy.
Where is happy?
My adult children are the reasons many times that prevent me from doing that. I finally realized that even as adults they still need a Mom. My therapist explains to me that my children should not be the only source for me to stay alive. That God has a plan for my life. I would like to know what that is. Like... I need a big neon sign because I still do not know what that is. Right now I feel like I have wasted my life working on the survival of my past and it just keeps creeping into my present. How can anybody even hope for the future when we cant even nor want to stay in the present?
Im a Christian, but at times I feel so discouraged in waiting on God to help me. I know that faith is something we hope for yet do not see. Im hoping for happy.
Where is happy?
That being said. I have been in darker places and always have come out the other side. I always depend on my higher power. I am not religious and don't call it God. But it works. And has gotten me through many tough times. All moods pass. All depressions lift eventually. I just keep saying the serenity prayer.
I'm not so sure about happy. I'm going more for grateful.
They fly in for a short time and then vanish just as quick.
Reality hits and I am stuck in a spiral of hate and despair.
Then a moment of joy. Then back to the overall suckiness of my life.
My T tells me about the good in my life. Blah, Blah, Blah she drones on about the reasons I have for a happy life or things to look forward to.
I get it. there are a few fleeting moments. But overall I hate life and people and can not find real happiness.
The only good thing about life is that it eventually ends.