Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
I do not know where to post this...PTSD, MPD, SI....
The last time I was like this on this forum I disappeared for 4 months, because I tried to kill myself and was hospitalized. There is a war raging inside of me. Thats an understatement! Im loosing my mind! Im loosing faith and want to destroy something with all this rage in me! I am so overcome by body memories! I hate these f--en body memories!!! Does any body else have problems getting past the abusive body memories. Each personality has their own nightmare memories that come with body memories. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! All I want to do is hurt myself! Ive been fighting through a few days now. I know it is because Ive been working on SRA issues, but Im at my wits end. Ive already hurt myself on Wednesday and Im consumed by the temptation hoping to take control, by acting out on them again. Im so done. I do not think I can take much more of this. Allowing the body memories to be in this process of healing is like me just sitting back and allowing the abuse to happen with out a fight. I feel like my world is crashing down on me from the inside out. I cannot live with myself this way. God, I do not even have the desire to look to You. I need Your help!
The last time I was like this on this forum I disappeared for 4 months, because I tried to kill myself and was hospitalized. There is a war raging inside of me. Thats an understatement! Im loosing my mind! Im loosing faith and want to destroy something with all this rage in me! I am so overcome by body memories! I hate these f--en body memories!!! Does any body else have problems getting past the abusive body memories. Each personality has their own nightmare memories that come with body memories. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! All I want to do is hurt myself! Ive been fighting through a few days now. I know it is because Ive been working on SRA issues, but Im at my wits end. Ive already hurt myself on Wednesday and Im consumed by the temptation hoping to take control, by acting out on them again. Im so done. I do not think I can take much more of this. Allowing the body memories to be in this process of healing is like me just sitting back and allowing the abuse to happen with out a fight. I feel like my world is crashing down on me from the inside out. I cannot live with myself this way. God, I do not even have the desire to look to You. I need Your help!
therapy for me always seems to wind up forcing me to relive the hell i endured and so all i want to do is give up on the healing process.
but if you are healing , if you are finding a little more peace somewhere (no matter how slowly) please don't give up because i need your inspiration...share your journey and don't give up
my inner child personality is constantly triggered and my whole body collapses ( i don't remember anything, i black out like an alcoholic who just drank a case a beer only i don't drink or do drugs)
my whole body aches and hell seems like a vacation from the experience of my daily life
my hand is reaching for you friend because you know how I feel and my inner child wants to believe your going to give me strength to move forward on this healing journey...i need you to be strong and give me hope...please....do ..... NOT ....GIVE ....UP!
in the past i've sat for several nights with my friend while she struggled with the urge to self harm. I'm talking virtually, not physically - we've never met. Mostly i offered distractions, but sometimes i just sat quietly by my laptop and responded only when she reached.out.
i hope this harsh time.is easing for you by now?
kevin