Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
I'm still grieving the loss of my personalities since we have integrated.I know that through a lot of healing I no longer switch. I can still go to my personalities in my thoughts when I need their strength, but I am still struggling with depression. It's so quiet since we have become one. Life was so much more interesting doing it with 11 of us. I'm bored now.; however, too intimidated by life and the fears that drive my panic attacks to do anything. I hate this place. My eating disorder is out of control. I'm doing everything possible to get through every moment.. Unfortunately, with the majority of my coping mechanism gone, I think I'm needing more therapy, but cannot afford it. I do not think I know how to live in the present. I am so used to so much PTSD that normal life seems emotionless. I feel lost right now and on the verge of a panic attack. I hope I can get through the night safely. Anyone else experience the silence of integration?
it appears there are different views on panic attacks. For some we take medications to prevent them from happening. But what if the panic attack needs to happen in order to heal? Everyone must decide for themselves what is best for them.
I use youtube for guided deep breathing and meditation as a way to allow myself to experience the panic and work through it naturally. Gradually they become less severe and less frequent.
But I'm not saying this will work for everyone. Still it is work considering how we can cooperate with the body's natural way of healing and whether medications can sometimes further repress memories which need to come out??
Were you able to make it through the night safely?
I would think it is completely normal to need extra therapy after integrating. You are learning to live life in a whole new way. I think the process you are going through sounds normal, and also very difficult. I admire your courage.
Hoping you made it through the night, and that today was a little easier.