Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
If you do not believe that the consequences of abuse are universal no matter what age you are let me share something with you. I will preface this by saying my daughter is four.Today as my husband walked out of the hallway from our bedroom to the living room he found a scrap of hair. My daughters hair.He then asked her(knowing how abuse survivors pull their hair out as a form of self harm) did you do this on purpose?She said yes.He then asked why?She said because I am mad about the man hurting me.He told her ok but would you please not do that any more because it's only hurting you.She said ok.We thought we had caught her at the beginning of a self harming ritual and that was the end of it. So later today we called my mother in law just to talk and see what was up.In the middle of this conversation we told her that my daughter started to pull her hair out as a result of her abuse. In the midst of us telling my mother in law this my daughter brings my husband a pretty big ball of hair that she has been pulling out for who knows how long.She kept this a secret from us had it hidden in one of her toys.She was scratching herself at one time but we got her to stop that and thought that was the end of her self harming. Obviously not.
reading your post reminded me of a patient. she came in after her sister died saying she was horribly depressed. hmm. she'd had a full, wonderful life. raised lovely children, who are loving, kind adults. has a great marriage. she didn't know why her sister's death had impacted her so deeply.
then one day during group it call came out. her sister, whom she loved dearly, had abused her - more than 60 years ago. yes, i typed 6-0 years. the patient was in her 70s, and had never told anyone. she'd stopped thinking about it. buried it. when her sister died, it all came tumbling out, she couldn't contain it anymore. she couldn't eat or sleep. she was a wreck.
it DOES indeed have universal consequences. maybe not immediate but the scars are life long and can devastate people at anytime. i'm glad your daughter has caring, insightful parents to care for and help her heal.
My heart goes out to you and your husband and especially your little girl.
the only thing that can be done in that kind of situation is to encourage the wife/mother to speak up and to try to get child protective services or whatever it is in the state where they reside involved. it's not much, child protective services are often understaffed and overworked as is well and horribly documented here in florida with the recent murder and torture of the children in west palm beach. but until we have something better it's the only other approach.
if you know the family perhaps you can encourage the mother to seek help. it is usually very difficult for an abuse victim to break free but she might listen if her child is being harmed, that is sometimes a better motivation than self-protection in a battering situation.
I bet your little girl is going to beAWESOME at understanding and empowering and supporting other victims of child abuse one day. And yes, I think it's crucial for abuse survivors to get help as quickly as possible. I'm so glad your daughter has parents who are helping her heal and understanding her hurt and symptoms and supporting her to be the strongest healthiest person she can be. And you're acknowledging her experience. You are huge assets in her life.
I'm caring hugely. I think you're SO strong and insightful and caring. Be gentle on yourselves.
Love from Rach.