Multiple Personalities Support Group

Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...

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theblackrose 05/03/2012

Ok. I'm really starting to get sick of people thinking in a complete asshole. Yeah, I know I have a drinking problem... And drugs to. But you try protecting 60 other people and you try to not go insane! Then we'll talk. Yeah, I have my own fucking issues.... You think this is easy for me with the past and shit? I got raped. I got bullied and abused.. And I was forced to do some pretty fucked up things. I got over my problems with drinkin and shit. And now I'm addicted. I know it's fucking up everything.. But I can't stop. I'm weak.. And a pretty fucked up protector.. I'm hurting my family instead of protecting them.. It's just all this shit that's goin on! I can't stand it! So level with me here. Please just try to understand. It's not all my fuckin fault ok? -Ella

deleted_user 05/03/2012

your right its not your fault you couldnt control what has happened in the past and youre not weak I think youre just trying to find the best way to deal and trying to get past things and live your life. Sorry if im worng or misunderstood you

deleted_user 05/03/2012

I know its not ella. I do understand and I do not judge you at all. I know it is not easy.

bluedragon41 05/04/2012

I never have judged you...Just worried for you-all, is all.

tyzz27 05/04/2012

I think you would find Ella that there are people around who have commended you on the job you have been doing to keep everything together. The job of a protector is extremely difficult. Sure my protector doesnt have addictions but he has blocked his emotions off so much that he just doesnt know how to relate to people anymore which can be really frustrating when he is trying to convince internals that it is important to do something for a certain reason. I guess bailey would just get frustrated with your drinking and drug use because as a protector the others look up to you as a role model, especially the kids, and if they see you out of control well then they feel like they arent being protected. I think i have said the key to it all is not abstinence but moderation so that the drinking and drug use is not taking your ability to be in control of things.

Once again .YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB ELLA

deleted_user 05/04/2012

I agree with everyone. Just hang in there. Look at the positive things you've also been helping with: You've helped keep them all safe as best you can all this time, and you're part of the healing now. You all are getting better at communicating internally, which will help EVERYTHING get better.

Just stay safe, okay? If you need a second alt to help you stay in safe bounds with things, I'm sure that one will offer. With Tia, she used to not want to stop once she started, but now she and Janice and I work together to stay safe. We agree to let her use certain things sometimes, as long as she 1) Does it in a safe place 2) Listens to us when we say, "That's enough." If she doesn't listen, we make her stay out to feel the consequences - upset stomach, etc. She only made that mistake twice, and now she takes our advice on when enough is enough. That way she gets to relieve her stress, but we all stay safe.

I hope you can make a similar agreement internally. Also, keep repeating to yourself that things WILL get better, because it's true. I'm proof. I'm far from perfect, but things are much better now that we all communicate better inside.

Hugs,
Wistala and Tia

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