Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
I can't believe that I am even asking this, but since this is anonymous and I am finding this site to be full of insightful, helpful people, I thought I would go ahead and ask............
actually I am not even sure exactly what to ask, but it has to do with sexuality and having parts inside that are not the same sex, same ages, etc (for exp I am female and most of my parts are also, but I have one male part and I also have parts of various ages and vastly different feelings re sex in general).
anyway, I have a hard enough time figuring out stuff and being comfortable with sex myself bc of multiple episodes of abuse and rape, PTSD, etc......and now that I learned that i have all these aprts inside I am really confused as to how to handle sexuality
it sort of feels like if I do anything in that realm I am dealing with pedophilia (bc of young parts), PTSD (bc of traumatized parts), compulsive desires and disturbing fantasies (bc of one over sexed, possibly reenacting part), incest (bc all the parts are like a family to me), voyeurism and being watched (if more than one is out at the same time), and even homosexual stuff (even though I am not gay....this is partially bc how on earth does a boy part exist in a female's body and deal with his own sexuality when clearly the body we are occupying is not that of a boy? and it's partially bc the overly sexual part has some fantasies and willingness to experiment with stuff simply to be rebellious - at least i think that is where she is coming form - i don't think that she is actually gay.....but I am soooooo confused rt now)
Dealing with having a male part, and how do I help him with his sexuality without actually acting on stuff is probably the most confusing part bc of the obvious lack of male organs.
to further confuse this issue, I am a Christian and I am struggling with what the Bible says abotu all this, too.
Anyway, if you have any thoughts, ideas, suggestions, anything at all on this topic that you would be willing to share, I would so very much appreciate it.
actually I am not even sure exactly what to ask, but it has to do with sexuality and having parts inside that are not the same sex, same ages, etc (for exp I am female and most of my parts are also, but I have one male part and I also have parts of various ages and vastly different feelings re sex in general).
anyway, I have a hard enough time figuring out stuff and being comfortable with sex myself bc of multiple episodes of abuse and rape, PTSD, etc......and now that I learned that i have all these aprts inside I am really confused as to how to handle sexuality
it sort of feels like if I do anything in that realm I am dealing with pedophilia (bc of young parts), PTSD (bc of traumatized parts), compulsive desires and disturbing fantasies (bc of one over sexed, possibly reenacting part), incest (bc all the parts are like a family to me), voyeurism and being watched (if more than one is out at the same time), and even homosexual stuff (even though I am not gay....this is partially bc how on earth does a boy part exist in a female's body and deal with his own sexuality when clearly the body we are occupying is not that of a boy? and it's partially bc the overly sexual part has some fantasies and willingness to experiment with stuff simply to be rebellious - at least i think that is where she is coming form - i don't think that she is actually gay.....but I am soooooo confused rt now)
Dealing with having a male part, and how do I help him with his sexuality without actually acting on stuff is probably the most confusing part bc of the obvious lack of male organs.
to further confuse this issue, I am a Christian and I am struggling with what the Bible says abotu all this, too.
Anyway, if you have any thoughts, ideas, suggestions, anything at all on this topic that you would be willing to share, I would so very much appreciate it.
the bible in this case could be a moral guide to you to educate the alters maybe? it stays hard. and knowing that people somewhere go through the same things is both good and bad for me. i wish you didn't but it makes me feel like less of a freak.
thanks for sharing this because i think you described the different feelings well. i say, ignore. do what you're doing in real life ignore the rest... but i dont think it's a very good tip. it's just how we do it.
I solved that problem by having a journal entry with her (the only way we can effectively communicate, even though it takes a while to go back and forth), and setting down a policy that she can do whatever she wants while I'm single (so long as it's safe and healthy), but that she is to stay out of my intimate life and my relationships. It took a while to implement, and accidents still happen, but I came to realize that though she didn't necessarily love my boyfriend as I do, she still needs affection.
My other alter though, I have more issues with. I can't communicate with her at all, and she seems to have a HUGE issue with my intimate life. I get disturbing flashbacks (real or not), waves of emotion (including disgust for myself, or rage) and I've even blacked out at times, during which I lashed out at him.
Since I couldn't communicate with my alter about this one, I had to talk to my boyfriend about it. Not a conversation I enjoyed, but he ended up being more understanding than I thought (if you're very close to the person, you can explain what you think causes these situations)...
I'm still looking for help on this one, so if anyone has advice, it's appreciated.
Sorry for making this entry so long AuntTammie, I know the computer makes you feel ill, but I hope it could help you a little bit. And if you've found that understanding pastor I think you were looking for, they might have more religiously-oriented advice. Whatever your denomination, I'm sure God can't possibly blame you for wanting all of you to have as normal a sexuality as you can.
Bottom line, what helped me the most was having those who could express themselves write down their points of view on sexuality.
Hope this helps!
A.