I have a really crazy friend whom I do love to death lol, he has DID AND... he thinks I have DID. He has known me for about a year and he says he has seen my alters and spoken to them both in real life and on the phone. I guess I was sort of abused in my childhood, not real sure who to blame as I blame myself for a lot of it, I was naughty, bad, frigid etc, looking for attention and got what I asked for, or atleast thats how I see it. I don't remember a lot of my childhood anyway and that's probably a good thing, lol. I do hear voices, more than one, but I think everyone does and its normal. I lose keys and my mobile phone several times some days and they end up in weird placed that I wouldn't have put them, but that's probably stress. Apparently I have done things to people that I just don't remember doing, like slapping those who have pissed me off or sending horrible or seductive texts to people. Thing is that when I check my phone there is nothing there. I do trust my friend that he isn't lying, but then I have my ex husband who is convinced that I am making all of this up and maybe he is right. He is an alcoholic which is why the marriage ended, he doesn't believe in DID at all. Maybe I did make all of this up, I don't remember what I have done but maybe thats a conscious thing that I've forgotten. I've taken two OD's and ended up in hopsital and I don't remember doing them. On one of those times I 'came to' being strapped down to the hopsital bed by about 6 staff and I had no idea why, I'm a placid person. I'm to old to not know, I would know right?? if I had DID?? Me ex has always told me that I have shocking mood swings and change in seconds, but thats normal right???? I've seen psych's, don't like them much and never stick with them, just have nothing to say to them, have been diagnosed with PTSD and depersonalisation and derealisation, but I think I made all those up too, just to get attention, I'm truly a horrible person arent I. If I went to a therapist about this DID stuff, they would know that I made it up and think I'm crazy. So I can't win, I don't want DID but I don't want to be unstable enough to have made it up either. I'm a mother and I have a normal life, I cope quite well with my life and the things I've experienced, I think it is pretty good that I came through the things I have without any real 'issues', dont' anyone take that the wrong way.
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