We support any decision that feels healing and healthy for you... We want you to be happy.

What a gift it would be to this group of you could share with us the process as you go through it, but I know that is probably asking too much. We are for you no matter how painful it gets.

I still believe we are put here "Not to see through one another, but to see one another through"

You are courageous, brilliant, and kind... Thanks for sharing!

I think the fact that you know its going to be difficult sets you up for realistic expectations. Our therapist keeps the integration idea open to us he does say that whether we integrate or have harmony with each other. However he does point out that in either case it does mean we need to be all on the same page of accepting each others stories including the experience and the emotions. So yeah its not easy, in fact Im emotionally exhausted and cant wait until I finish college in a couple of weeks so i can just crash and stay in bed for a day or 2 if need be. But i think ultimately the rewards will be worth it.

It's a slow process and will go only at a pace you can manage. This sounds like a step toward healing for you to even be willing to consider it. Good for you, and I hope you continue healing well.

But it's not my decision? I was against integration except suddenly I'm not!
...I'm not even being allowed to worry, or get mad...It's really freaking strange.

Wow...I'm not even a full person...

Have you discussed it with all of your parts? In "committee" sort of? I would think it can be very unsettling to the parts who have no interest in integration to have that looming. From what I understand of it...all do not have to integrate. You may have some who do, and others who hold out.

I used to think I had no interest in integrating. Now I am not sure...perhaps more willing to think about it, even if it's decided it isn't for us.

I wish you well with it, and ups and downs may come along with the process...so, please post if you need support.

No discussion.
I think the unease at the whole thing is coming from the others...integration means that the one who wants to kill us all and the one who wants to have sex with everybody aren't encapsulated anymore.

Katharine has the metaphorical (or metaphysical) gears...She used a dream to represent it as remotely-controlled trains all converging and colliding, then a nuclear plant about to melt down...

It was meant as a warning???
Maybe she can't stop it either???
...I could ask for a group meeting until blue in the face, I think. I am not in charge...and while I suspected that I'm getting proof.

...Basically, I'm trying to be nice and zen and just accept that I'm going to have feces hitting the fan.

Oh, apparently I'm an "informational aggregate."

Rather like a human newsfeed...I feel what the others give to me to feel.

Are you ok? Your lat comment is quite heavy even though short. Are you certain you have no emotions? It seems like a very minimizing statement. I apologize if that is off. I am concerned and curious

I'm not...at a point where I can comment clearly, because I'm not sure myself.
"my" "self." Except that I'm just a cover for them?

One of the kids, Joy, was mad at me about something and said of me: "She's just a bag we fill up."

I know when they talk through me I feel like a tube.

I might be upset. Except I'm...not? I'm uneasy, though.
It's a bit of a (non)existential unease...