Um, sorry. Apparently a few of us wanted to give opinions on that one. Little bit confusing?
That would be . . . Samantha, Sarah, Raven, and Mandie?

It's fine. Transition means that it's not happening all at once. The first visit with all of you went well. you can go next time and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. People get to know each other gradually and you don't have to be intimately close all at once.
Take it easy. You don't have to trust the new one cuz trust takes time to be earned. The old one is still there for you for now.

hugzz

To Samantha, Sarah, Raven and Mandie Ild just like to thank you and anyone else there for doing such a wonderful job for working together to get to the point you are now. i know there are still struggles and a lot of concerns starting with this new person and guess what there wouldnt be any person in the world who wouldnt worry about starting with someone new. It is hard to let someone into our world especially when our trust has been broken so many times. Im glad to hear the old person you use to work with was able to come to the first meeting you had with this new person. One suggestion might be to allow this new person to have access to the information you told the old person. But only you can give permission to this new person to have this information but it might help with not having to tell her everything all over again. it seems like someone thought she did a good job so hopefully the new person could read the file if you allowed her. Secondly you are the boss! This new person has to do what you want her to do and the new person can make suggestions but you make the final decision. So you get to tell her what you would like to work on and what you dont want to work on. That is something that you might need to have a meeting between yourselves to decide. Please try and make sure you dont allow yourselves to be ever concerned of any feeling that you might have. It is ok to have feelings as this is what makes us human. Its just important that we dont let an emotion such as fear stop us from doing something that would be good for us.

I love your post. It is just a perfect expression of what we deal with but don't have words to tell.

I have a huge difficulty in starting with a new therapist, too. One big mistake I've made in therapy over the years, is to trust the new person too early before I know who they are, and where they come from regarding therapy and me and my situation. And often that has happened the most when I have re-started therapy because some crisis has happened and I have in desperation latched onto someone, thinking of them as my hero who will take me out of whatever crisis I've found myself in. And when you do that, you tend to suddenly distrust the new person at the drop of a hat when they do something you don't like, are offended by, etc. and your hero has turned into a fallible human being. There's even a name for that "syndrome" but I have forgotten what it is.

Always remember: When you are in therapy, you ALWAYS have the right to remain silent ~ you can politely tell your T that you just don't want to "go there" or that you'd jusr rather not talk about (-----) whatever it is. As survivors, we often forget we have that kind of clout, especially when we're talking to someone we deem has authority or power over us.

One twisted trick that has been played on me a couple of times before, is they can get you rolling on a certain subject, and then suddenly ask a question that does not fit into the conversation, just so you'll answer it while you're on a roll with the first topic. And when that has happened to me, it has usually been a question I've avoided answering (because I did not yet have the self esteem or awareness to know that I didn't have to answer if I didn't want to) and I felt tricked into giving them information that I didn't want to tell them. If that, or any other thing happens that you don't feel comfortable with or you think is unethical, don't hesitate to ask a question about it. Just remember, you don't want to sound like you're calling them on the carpet, (even if you are) because you will cause them to get defensive and you won't be able to sort things out. You just want to know whether or not you are perceiving things correctly. The way they answer you will tell you a lot about who THEY are...if they try to defend themselves when you've asked a perfectly neutral question, or rationalize, make excuses, or whateer, you might want to consider seeing another therapist. Trust and the therapy process is a two-way street.

Thank you everyone. I go to see her again on Thursday. Guess we'll see how it goes . . .

hey I get it sometimes My little just gets attached to someone without knowing them or asking pertinent questions,, anyone who shows attention, not good,, I have thought I want to dump my therapist because of several reasons but I stay sometimes out of atttachemtn good luck

You can get through this. It is so great that your old therapist cares so much about you. I would be upset leaving too very much. This new one seems good though too. She is probably a good person. Your old therapist wouldn't send you to a bad one because she likes you so much.

Are you still allowed to talk to the old one sometimes or not at all anymore?

remember therapists are just people most have alot of problems that brought them there my young therapist herself had a brain tumor at 35 and she is back but she is not the same,, I dated a therapist she was not my therapist but was extrememely hateful to her kids and a mess,,,,, years ago but we put them on pedastals as steph said ,, they have their roles but they dont have all the answers they guide us to find our own answers, ,we pay for a service and you would not ask a doctor questions before a surgery,,,,

I'm glad your old therapist was so helpful and caring in helping you transition; I don't think I've ever been able to "transition" between people at all, and it probably would have helped a lot. Anyway, I'm also very happy you've got the opportunity to work with someone with experience in DID and trauma; those individuals are hard to come by.

If you pace yourself, I'm sure you'll be able to make this work. Starting over is definitely scary, but it does sound like this woman has a lot of experience that will be able to help you. You don't have to tell your new therapist everything right away--and you couldn't fit it all in the first few sessions if you wanted to, anyway. Really, you don't even have to tell her everything you ever mentioned with your old therapist; the point of therapy is not for the therapist to know every last thing about you, but for you to feel comfortable enough with this therapist to share what needs to be shared and work on these things together.

Someone in another group here gave me this advice: "Start where you are." It is going to be utterly overwhelming to simply try to relay everything from the past that may or may not be important at this moment, so it's best to just focus on what needs help right now as you slowly get to know this new person. If you provide other information as it's needed--and, of course, as you're comfortable providing it--and just keep working, I know you can probably start making progress very quickly. It sounds like this woman really does have the tools to help you, and I hope that she can so that you, Samantha, Sarah, Raven, Mandie, and all of you can find the happiness and peace you deserve.


BMW's latest reply here triggered some kind of response in me, so I have to say something about that, LOL.

It's true we shouldn't put therapists on pedestals, and that they're just people like we are. A good therapist is very well able to remove themselves and their own personal issues from the situation so that they can better address their clients. I know all this, and yet... I feel like a therapist who doesn't know how to handle their own lives and has a bad attitude towards those close to them really shouldn't be in this business to begin with.

All people are people, yes, and we need to keep that in mind. But it's the therapist's job to help the client, not the other way around, and I feel like no matter how well a therapist separates their personal issues and those of their clients', some of that is bound to leech through subconsciously if a therapist has a lot of unresolved stuff floating around inside, and there's no way a client busy trying to work through their own crap is going to be able to distinguish that all the time.

I don't even know what my point really was anymore. I just feel sad and tired now. But I started therapy at 14 and now I'm 22--there haven't been any breaks in between. I was never looking for "perfect." I have always understood people and their problems. I just wanted someone that would listen to me and tell me it wasn't my fault. I've always understood others. I just wanted someone who would understand me--without judging. The fact that it took about five full years to find someone who didn't suck at their job--and then another full two trying to make up for all the damage done by past therapists and their ripping me up one side and down the other--just makes me angry and so unspeakably sad.

I was a kid. Is it that hard to listen to a kid? Why would I make things up? Why would I lie?

My therapist says I seem like I'm about 40 years old in therapy. I know I'm mature. I know I'm an "old soul." But I'm 22, and something about that just doesn't seem right. This process has aged me so much, turned me into something rigid and hard and unwilling to share, just because so-called professionals couldn't keep their own shit straight or admit when they'd bitten off more than they could chew. All I learned after all that time was how to "behave." And that doesn't seem fair at all.