You don't have to explain.I think we all have loved ones who don't understand our condition (I don't want to say "illness";like Richard Gere said in "Mr. Jones":"I do not have a disease,this is WHO I AM").I know some of my relatives are actually afraid of me,when I wouldn't hurt a fly.
But maybe you could tell your wife that your alters will never do anything that goes against your moral code.At least,that's been true for me.

Is your wife the nurturing type? Perhaps it needs to be explained to her that your inner littles need nurturing, rather than telling her how her screaming effects them (which can come off as an attack). Saying what you want/need, sounds better than saying what you dont want/need.

Just a thought

Good luck!!

well maybe if she'll meet you for like a stay in movie or something you can get the kids to come out and show her that their a lot like regular kids.

Minnie

I can understand a SO finding DID scary since DID is hard to understand for us as well as them. I was thinking that actions may speak louder than words. When she yells to your face you could walk away or if on the phone say you need to hang up. That way you are protecting yourself and at the same time letting her know you will not tolerate the yelling.

Tell her these people in your head are your heroes.They stepped in and took pain beyond for you because they love you.Knowing that one person would do that for another is more than enough proof that they are nonthreatening.They are the opposite.They are your protectors sacrificing themselves in order for you to stay sane in an insane abusive world.

Ive been trying to get better so that she and I could have a child...she isn't able, so I'd be the one to pop it out.
She says it's a bad idea, I think it's a bad idea too, I nonetheless have my plumbing screaming at me, telling me to ( About to be 39, BTW )
Also a desire to...nurture, and to push myself beyond my current limits in order to launch a well-adjusted adult into the world...and to have my emotional world to be more than just me and her.
It's a totally illogical decision-to want to have a kid.

But I'm afraid she's never going to agree I'm stable enough. Sigh. There's a good possibility she's right about that. Not that I'd be abusive, but I do have really bad depression that I sort of dip into and out of.
@ Wheezie...I will try that.

Does she know about the trauma of your past, and have sympathy for it? If she does, then a few articles from 'google' or the library might be enough for her to get a grip. I had my SO read "First Person Plural" which main character has more self harm going on than we do, but the descriptions of the inner thoughts and switching were really spot on for us. It helped him understand better. Also, before I knew we were DID, I lived a full life with a professional career and good reputation. None of those abilities have changed. I am sure you have a number of successes in your past as well. You are the same person, you just have a deeper understanding of yourself now.
Pat

My adoptive mom stoped talking to me becouse of this and she has it. Mabee your wife is scared to feel the truth. Give her time let her figure things out on her oun.