Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Therapist and I figured out I have this pattern in play right now:
1(6).Feel okay.
2.start to slowly feel bad.
3.Feel more and more horrible.
4. Feel like offing myself.
5. get memory back, feel horrible but somewhat relieved, mourn and adjust narrative
6(1). Feel okay...
...I put this here because at this point, I'm getting into memories held by the kids in my head.
We have been at # 4 off and on, I'm sort of nudged back to #3 right now, but I'm using a delaying tactic.
...This time I want to let it out when I've got time and space and support, not just go BLARGH...
1(6).Feel okay.
2.start to slowly feel bad.
3.Feel more and more horrible.
4. Feel like offing myself.
5. get memory back, feel horrible but somewhat relieved, mourn and adjust narrative
6(1). Feel okay...
...I put this here because at this point, I'm getting into memories held by the kids in my head.
We have been at # 4 off and on, I'm sort of nudged back to #3 right now, but I'm using a delaying tactic.
...This time I want to let it out when I've got time and space and support, not just go BLARGH...
I think this is great that you have figured out a pattern. What I see is that maybe next time you get stuck in #4 you can take heart that is it just the cycle and it will get better.
I see this cycle too, though luckily for me I get the 'I dont want to be here' feeling versus an actual suicide thought. I am very lucky with that and I know it.
I can understand getting better after processing memories. Although horrid, I really feel knowledge is power. Besides my imagination and nightmares are usually worse.
I also think it is a great thing that you want support through this tough times. We are here :)
Thanks for posting.
we support you...
Let
It
Out
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.