Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Some people ask me if im excited to be a mother someday. And i just think "Well, i already have children." Because Some of my alters are already my children. They call me "Mommy" and i consider them my children. Like Brookie and Kevin. Kevin is an alter from a child i misscarried. and Brookie is just a child alter of myself but she is also a daughter to me. I also take care of my other little alters but i dont consider them my children. Me and my alters are a family.
yes, I can relate to that. There is a concept known as 'inner child' and that we all have one, and that part of recovery is being our own good parent to the inner child. I do some self talk. Not all of my self talk is positive, but I'm trying. Most of us here, not all but many, have had poor parenting, and to correct it we can parent ourselves better, and I think that does help us to be better real parents to future children than we would otherwise be. Like if I learn to be more patient with my inner child then I learn that for other people too, including children.
I have a kind of struggle with this, with having childness in me, littleness, which I mentioned on another thread. you've just reminded me of this. I tend to neglect my inner child. Thanks for reminding me. I'll have to keep that in mind now and make an effort.
I grew up in a traditional Christian structure, so at least in my head, I was still thinking that women were really meant to stay home and take care of the children, and not to work outside the home. Since I had been abused when my mother and dad were both at work, I really believed that was true. I had no concept of it being "right" or "OK" to have a different life. And I think, the general poplulation was still struggling with non-traditional lifestyles as well.
But now I look back on it with much different eyes. Now I realize that the underneath and stronger reason why I chose to get married about five months after I graduated from high school, had a lot more to do with being desperately needy and dependent and as far as I knew, had no other choice of where to go. I probably didn't. Going back to mom's house was out of the question. I left her place ASAP after I graduated..it was one or two weeks. Now I look back and realize that emotionally, I was still stuck at 6 years old. I had no idea or concept of that then.
Perhaps that is also why only my daughter talks to me, and not my other two living sons. Even my daughter keeps me on the fringe of her social circle. I have looked at her facebook page and she has a lot of family members as friends, including my X and his wife. She has no clue aobut the truth of the situation. But I am not a "freind" of hers. But she does allow me to babysit, so I need to look at that as a "glass half full" picture. She certainly has reason, with my difficulty remembeing things and keeping on track. Especially when I am at home, and doing something that requires planning, like house cleaning or getting ready to go somewhere.
Now I know what it really means when people say, "I wish I knew then what I know now."
(not to allow me to baby sit)
Kinda ironic, isn't it, that I goofed up on the very sentence I was speaking about goofing things up..