This happens to me its disturbing. I don't know how to deal with it but if you find out I would like to know. I am guessing your mind does this to process what has happend could happen and relive you from it in the end.

i'm sorry this is happening for you also mamoth. It seems such a terrible thing.

Have i got this right do you know? I think an interject is an alter that identifies so strongly with an abuser she/he thinks it is that abuser, and behaves like that abuser, continuing the abuse? He/she must do this fairly convincingly if a person can also believe she/ he is the abuser. Am mistaken in this? Can anyone help explain?

it's called an introject. And that could very well be what's going on.

I have an introject of my father who does all these things.

They come about just by becoming a big part of whatever version of consciousness you have at the time they are abusing you.

What my therapist is doing to deal with my father is that she is teaching him that he is a part of me and not my father in reality. Simultaneously, she is teaching the others that they outnumber him. They can stop him from acting out and fight back when he is cruel to them.

When my therapist talks to the parts and they tell her their stories, he usually gets very angry. He comes out, and he hurts the shared body. But this last time, he didn't come out. They stood up to him. And he didn't hurt them. So it works. It just takes time, and a lot of work.

Does your friend have a therapist?

thanks for response acaseofyou

introject? I was close i guess
i wish this wasn't happening for you and mamoth. Or my friend. It must be very frightening, though it seems you are in the process of sorting it. I hope things proceed quickly for you in this then. Are introjects an actual alter, or something else entirely?

sadly my friend has no therapist. She's a student living at home with her parents. Here in australia you need a government medicare card to access most medical things (or perhaps pay prohibitive costs with no reimbursement). As a child you are listed on your parents card until old enough to have your own (i think my kids were about 16 or so when they got theirs). My firend is 20 year old and is still on her parents card, which means they control access to medical services. In fact, my friend's mum decides if / when she can see a doctor and always accompanies her into the consultation. Sadly therapy is just not an option at this time and won't be until she leaves the family home. And t be honest, this doesn't seem all that likely to happen. Her parents have a very poor relationship and her mother has some how made my friend believe she is responsible for her parents well being and happiness to the point that at times even the thought of leaving home seems to make my friend squirm - the subject to be quickly dropped. But i hope one day she'll find a mechanism to escape to her own life
,

Introjects are actual alters. They are just as real as the rest of them.

I don't know where your friend lives, but she might be able to find some low-cost to free care in her area, especially if she lives in an urban environment. She would not necessarily have to use her parents' insurance to do this. She could start by contacting a local rape crisis center.

For me mine just reabuse alters inside like verbally. I don't think they actually come out infront of people. Atleast I hope not. acaseforyou that makes sence what your saying to deal with them.

my friend lives fairly isolated in a semi rural area of small (around 20?) acreage. There are 'free' medical services here in australia but a medicare card is needed for the medical practitioner to 'bulk bill', that is be paid directly by the government, the patient doesn't have to.

my friend has only acknowledged 2 others, an 8 year old and a 5 year old. I don't think they are able to stand up to their abuser. As an aside, she has only really been aware of the 8 year old this past 10 months and been consciously communicating with her this past 3 month or so. Even more recently they have been taking turns coming out in a conversation. My friend recently asked me if i thought she and her 8 year old would ever become one again? Could anyone tell me about itegrations? I assume they must be voluntary and wanted by noth parts

*voluntary and wanted by both parts. But also, sometimes parts prefer to remain seperate and idependant - and do so? Does anyone have advice that i could pass on to my friend?

thanks
kevin

a PS
i suspect my friend isn't on this forum herself because she still finds the thought of acknowledging herself multiple very frightening. As far as i know i am the only person she has gifted with access to her little ones. Also, i suspect my friend is not host, or is perhaps co-host but not really aware of the other co-host - is such unaware co-hosting possible?

I would suggest she talk to them. Have conversations with them if she can. Sometimes that is hard for me because they tend to quiet down as soon as I try to get them to talk to me. But even if she can't have an actual conversation with them, if she talks to them, they will most likely hear. It will take time and effort. But it's worth it.

My introject doesn't come out in front of anyone else, except occasionally my therapist (and then only when she specifically asks for him). But when I am alone and when they've been talking to her, he comes out.

Even without the help of a therapist, she can work with the parts. She just has to slowly open herself up to what they have to say.

No options for a confidential rape crisis center in the area? I grew up in a town with less than 50 people in the Midwest US, and I recently discovered that even they have a rape crisis center.

mamoth, even if yours doesn't come it must still be very distressing. Perhaps trying acaseofyou's approach with internal dialogue might help?

acaseofyou, far as i know my friends mother has only ever abused her emotionally. I'm not sure a rape crisis centre would use scarce resources in this circumstance. And there is still the problem that if she did seek medical assistance anywhere without her mother's permission and was found out - her mother would most certainly punish her for this. It probably seems strange to you that a 20 year old can have so little independance. It does to me, my kids would have just told me to get fucked, and they did on a number of occasions when i was being unreasonable. But jli can understand it - my friend has been in this situation a very long time. Until very recently, her 8 year old alter goes to bed hungry every night, is never tucked in or kissed goodnight, is not allowed to cry ever, is allowed no friends no sleep overs no birthday parties, is silently shunned for days at a time by her mum and is forced to sit in on family discussions (violent arguements between her mum and dad) till late into the night and compelled always to take her mother's side. Subservience to her mother has been inculcated in her over a very long time, as has alienation from her father. Why that worthless shit didn't step in years ago to protect his daughter i'll never know

my, that was a bit of a vent
lol
sorry about that, but i wanted you to know why therapy is not going to happen till my friend has left home. Until then, i guess i'm looking for bandaid solutions i can offer her

It doesn't seem odd to me that someone who has been abused and is living in the current shitty global economy would have trouble finding her way out of this mess.

Perhaps, if her mother has never sexually abused her and she has never been raped, she could try a domestic violence center. Emotional abuse is domestic violence.

she still lives with her mum, and pretty much requires permission to leave the house for anything not uni related and even then sometimes. Even if she found somewhere for an initial free consultation there is no way she could steal time for regulars sessions nor be able to afford them without accessing her mum's medicare card. Simply not gonna happen till she leaves home and learns to live an independant life. Much as i'd like it to be otherwise

she's probably on the verge of developing her fighter alters more fully, because that's what it takes to leave the abusive environment. after you develop a fighter alter, u develop another one, maybe it's a wife alter or a religious alter, military or an education alter to get out of the home.

if she's co hosting, i think she would probably be aware of both hosts--but to her, it's just normal.

the best advice is to stay in touch with her, stay her friend. we need friends more than we need therapists.