I'm so excited that you asked! I had 11 personalities and we are integrated! At first we were all uneasy about integration and we believed it would never happen, we were all our own person, so I thought. Through years of therapy my personalities started communicating in my head to each other. They helped each other through their struggles and traumas.

Integration is not eliminating a person, but blending them all together in one. They are all with me in one mind. Their wonderful individual characteristics are added to me. I was given all their strengths and all their sorrows too. We were able to utilized each others strengths and experiences and talents to bring healing. We were able to understand what each of us were feeling at any given time.

Now, I can feel an emotion and I recognize who used to feel that way and knowing that gave me the ability to process things with confidence and a peace of mind.

A wise person once said that if a house (person) is divided against its self that house (person) cannot stand. Each personality was stuck in their own PTSD working separately, but once we started integrating we were able to come together as a whole with having incredible wisdom and strength to overcome any obstacle life had thrown at us.

You may miss them at first, but what joy it is to see their characteristics in you on a daily bases.

There is one other thing I must mention here that was the most important to my recovery is the love and faith I have in Jesus as my healer. He can make all things new and bring your mind in perfect peace when you surrender your mind to him. He redeemed my mind from all it's madness and made me whole. I am recreated through his power and love, but I had to believe in him.

If you have any more questions please feel free to contact me. I have experienced healing that I never thought was possible and you can too. Hug, Cassi

I am very uneasy about it...

Hi! This is a really great question to ask, so I hope I can help some. I don't have MPD, but my boyfriend does and he has had parts of his mind integrate, and has explained as best he can what it's like (in his case- everyone is different and you might have a different way of thinking about it.)

For him, it was like they all still existed, but they could control the body without conflicts.
His thoughts never went away, he never disappeared, but instead of bickering over what actions they should take, it was all done subconsciously. It was like, let's say you want to go left. All you do, is turn left, yeah? Well, once they integrated, they would ALL feel like it was a good idea to go left. Even though they all were still there with their own opinions, they experienced it at the same time and thus came to the same conclusion.
It sounds more complicated than it is, but the gist is, no one will go away, you will all just be... you. Yourselves. Each other. At the same time.

In his case he didn't integrate all at once, he's still got other personalities, one integration failed and they resplit; so keep in mind, it's still your brain. No one can change it if you don't want to change, and if integration isn't for you then that is perfectly fine. The end goal is to be safe and help all parts of you reach a good point in life- how you get to that point is up to you.

I hope this helps ease some confusion, if you need any more information I'll try my best to help. :)

I was integrated for two years. It dissolved back to my normal state after a certain major stressor. Go figure. Biggest change was the silence in my head -that still sticks out to me today. I can't say it was bad at all. And having full memory, and having moods not switches-it was different but not bad at all. I miss it sometimes. But no, no one dies, no one leaves. We thought the same but it isn't like that at all. It's like you're you, only whole. Not so much chaos and juggling. That was my experience.