I'm no expert as everyone knows, but that really makes no sense. I guess we all have parts but if they cause you to lose time and some of the other criteria of the dsm iv, then I would challenge that assessment. Therapy can only help.

That's the thing...I don't lose time.
OTOH I have no idea what they are going to say.

I just figured I'd be honest about this, as I don't want to mislead people...guess I'm back in the "just don't know" box.

You don't have to lose time to be DID; it is only one of a list of things and not all DID people meet all the criteria. I would look into the assessment further. Clarify the assessment, what does she consider to be DID against the dsm iv?

I use to lose time but I dont any more. Just because I dont lose time doesnt mean i dont classify myself as not having DID. Im sorry but it makes no sense for your psych to be encouraging your wife to communicate with your inner children if she doesnt believe you have DID. Sure you can have an inner child and not have DID but that is completely different. Im a big believer that every single person on this planet has an inner child but the only person who would be able to communicate with that inner child is ourselves. Perhaps your wife could help you get in contact with your inner child such as encouraging play, eating things children would typically eat, watching childrens movies but you couldnt orally communicate with an inner child in the same way you could communicate with an alter child. Like someone has said already i think you need further discussion with your psych to clarify what she actually means.

my current therapist first told me she doubted I had DID when I told her about the previous therapist's suggestion that I did. I shrugged. If I had it, she would see it soon enough. If I didn't, she could help me with trauma work. She saw for herself soon enough. She doesn't question it any more; just asks who is there each week.

She might refer to the 4 different degrees classified as major disorders defined in DMS:

Dissociative Amnesia(memory loss/amnesia of certain time periods)
Dissociative identity Disorder
Dissociative Fugue
Depersonalization Disorder

MPD is not a term used anymore in DMS as it was misleading.The personalities are not different people but distinct states of a single mind, separated by amnesia barriers,frozen at different ages by traumatic experiences.(Dr Courtois)
Nevertheless,they represent parts of yourself and operate independently.They need to be heard and addressed.
Some hold account of the traumas, others may seize control and make you act inappropriately.They are not figments of your imagination.

One way of checking you suffer from dissociative disorder is to look for periods/ memories in your past which you can't remember at all,black outs.
It might be useful for your wife and yourself to read a "serious" book on DID(not the sensational books which only add to misconceptions about DID).
Your wife would see that there is nothing scary about it.
Just the extraordinary power of the mind to protect itself and heal in time.
You do not suffer from a mental illness, remember;You developped coping mecanisms in order to survive.
You deserve to have a happy relationship with your wife.You are, like all of us here, a beautiful person.

I have heard posters here say that a T will not dx DID unless she can personally see a switch. I don't lose time anymore either. I happened to switch in front of a T a long time ago, so I got the dx. But today I probably would not get it, if that is the criteria. You might ask her if that is behind her reasoning. IMHO it shows a limited understanding of DID too.

One in my twenties I was getting therapy from an MD. He just liked me and wanted to treat me. He showed me how to do the gestalt exercise where you sit in one chair and say a feeling and then sit in another facing chair and respond from a different feeling. I did this and when I sat in the second chair I switched. My voice was different and I talked faster and addressed myself with a lot of anger. Afterwards my pdoc said "you are a theater major right?" lol

I'm wondering if your T thinks of these kids in you as parts of a single personality. Parts that she thinks can talk to your wife. Sort of like my pdoc thought I could talk to inner parts of me. It's curious. I'm sorry she seems to make your healing more confusing.

My therapist has been quite good...

It's not so much the talking thing as the seizing control of my thinking process and running away with it...the one was trying to drive my wife away, the other was trying to get me to kill myself...

But I've been baffled and feeling foolish for believing in the kids in the first place, now...to which Fisher said angrily in my head..."I am not a figment!"

The therapist used the words "ego state," and from looking up the definition of DID...it's true, we DO share emotions, their compartments aren't watertight...and they are leakier now than when I started.

...Months ago I was typing to someone and typed out that I didn't have dissociative alters...and inside my head a voice shouted "Yes you do!"

So...I don't think I have alters but they disagree?

And yeah, when I got furious I did things I barely remembered until reminded later...this as an adult...
Even then it seemed dreamlike and my behavior was very odd, like lifting the end of a couch over my head one-handed.

The "others" were talking to my wife the other day...in their little kid voices.It went on for a little while until I felt...like I'd burnt up all the brain-juice. I was craving a sugar-fix, that seems to be symptomatic of them talking through me.
Yeah, I have no idea what they are going to say until my mouth opens up and the words spill out...in subtly different voices.

This really is confusing, I feel like I've been playing games with myself.

Hylie, My trust for you is based on your words, your obvious sincerity and shared experiences, not on whether you have a dx or not.

I don't think I have alters but they disagree?

This is perfect!