Last night I was less tired and tried to coax some of the family out to try and ...well just say hi and learn more about them
I found out there are two named Ema and Emma who both protect ( A "little ?) Called Pea I thought Emma was Ema also called M&M or just M but C says they ( Ema & Emma) are different . I don't think I met Emma before and now that I think about it Emma writes way different. Even without that evidence C is almost always right and when she makes a mistake she says so . So I trust C's "word picture" and the picture is of two Em(m)as . Now I wonder if there are 2 of me Purple who hasn't woke up in a long time used to write to Brown I thought I was who she wrote to . I don't really l8ke the name brown much so I would only sign as B. But I'm real so I wanted to be more than an initial so I am Bee now. But I wonder if Brown was somone else. K said there is 19 of us but I think he was guessing hoping that was "enough" I don't think he really accepted that we are real I can't bear to wake him he's so sad and broken and terrified of where we are right now and so I let him sleep till we are "safe" I don't known If I even could wake him, music will mabey but there's problems with those songs they are to triggering for the family right now . I don't know if I am even making any sense does any one out there relate to what I'm trying to say? At least enough to help me understand this better or offer advise? I'm given to understand that systems/families are possibly totally unique. But I hoping mabey our system is common enough for somone to recognise it and help me understand things I'm mabey missing. Thanks for any help . With love Bee.

To clarify there's a lot more that I left out because it's too complicated to explain everything if anyone needs more details about somthing or some part of my questions just ask . I don't know what parts are important and what parts aren't thanks so much
.Love Bee

I honestly don't kniw how many we are I tried counting to see if the 19 minus 2 is right but we had to get rid of our journal due to safety issues. So I lost count and have to assume 19 original 2 "gone" making 17 one is a half mabey so 16 and a half . But I read the there are no halfs so somone is "fragmented" mabey? ? I'm only mentioning this because it feels important . It may not be.
Thanks for any thoughts.
Love Bee.☺

Hi. To answer some of your questions. Many of my others communicate via pictures or emotions. And some of them I haven't had contact with in years. But that's ok because my others only make themselves present when their particular skills are needed. So as a result I have 4 Who. Are always nearby. And the rest are....somewhere else.

That makes me feel better I never have voices only thoughts of words I wasn't sure if that was normal as I've read about others hearing thier family talking in audible voices C communicates with pictures more and more lately and Summer and April communicate by whole sentences and pictures and feelings it's like having multiple perspectives all at once but no voice . That's not exactly right but close enough I just know what they are thinking but I don't known what C is thinking just the emotional pictures I feel and " see ". When others wake up I can "hang back" and feel what they are feeling and watch what they do and we write to each other or somtimes talk like with summer and April but it's not always clear what they are meaning like it is with summer and April they ate mostly afraid or emotionally tired and keeping them awake takes a lot of coaxing and telling them I love them . I wish it was more like it is with summer and April who loved me instantly and just flooded in. The others are sleeping more and more and seem to just be so distant and wary it's a shock to feel what they feel somtimes and I get overwelmed it makes me so tired but I can't afford to quit right now my son is in danger and needs us i know that is probebly confusing it is hard to explain. I know they need a therapist they can trust or a safer feeling environment but I don't have that right now. Anyway thank you for talking to me .
Love Bee.
Oh also do any of your family have really short memories? I have to repeat things to summer all the time she has good memory for some things and almost no memory for other things it seems random she remembers a purple flower we picked and gave her monthes ago but one we drew for her is a suprise to her everytime she sees it and she believes it's the first time she's ever seen it EVERYTIME we show it to her . Anyway it's nice to talk with you thank you . Love Bee and April (summer is here but not paying attention to us her mind is busy focused on colors not talking we could get her attention. But that would be "not nice" because she is happy right now with her colors)

hi Bee, HI Summer, hi C, hi April
i think you've done a good job of describing what must be at times a very confusing and tiring situation. I think it's wonderful that all your others that need to rest or who aren't needed right now have you 4 to keep things together for them. I hope things settle for your son and he keeps safe
kevin

Thank you k2hsharpe

Hi to everyone above - I just joined the group tonight. I discovered I have DID almost 4 years ago. I know for sure that I have more than 10 alters but by some accounts, there could be more than 20. Only about 3 or 4 are very active most of the time.
Bee, April, Summer, C:
I get part of what you all are saying/asking but it's also late for me and I'm jumbling parts of it right now but I'll read again tomorrow when I am fresh. Lol!
I/we would love to chat with any or all of you whenever possible. Its good to finally find a place where people will truly understand my/our cuallenges and our unending questions about our mind.

Yahoo thst would be wonderful thank you so much !!!