being aware and conscious of our psyche doesn't change who we were or are. So, I think with that attitude, it's easier to accept our alters more.

here is smth on staying grounded.

1. Touch something in the now: tactile touch helps me. I will feel the bedclothes, or a favorite stuffed toy, to reground. I even speak out loud: "I can feel the floor under my feet." This is an important way to stay in the now, and not go totally into the memory.

2. Self talk: I talk to myself until the fear lessens. "I am safe now. It isn't happening now. It's a memory." I also look around the room, while I do this. If a young part is out, I let them know that now I am older, that the abuser is not with me, that they will not be hurt again. I also remind myself of the fact that most memories resolve with time; that the feelings are most intense when they first come out, and will tend to lessen with grounding. This helps to keep me from panicking, which can snowball once started.

3. Internal cooperation: I let people inside know that I understand they are afraid. And then I negotiate. I promise (and have to keep this promise, or watch out!) that these parts can share the memory by journaling, or collaging, or art work the next day, if they can help "back away" the memory right then. This also helps when I am at work. If it is a part that is feeling ignored, or who is in distress, I hug them, and later give them the promised time to share.

4. I ask internal parts who are older and more grounded in reality to help those who are younger and feel the memory. They can hold their hand, rock them, or comfort them.

5. Do something that relaxes me. This might mean reading a good, light book (I call them "fluff books"), watching a funny movie on T.V., taking a warm bath, or a cup of tea. I have certain routines that help relax and ground me when times are rough.

6. Share how I am feeling: When appropriate, I share what is going on with someone I trust. I might tell my spouse, or my therapist. Talking through the memory can sometimes diminish its force. Journaling is a way I can "talk it through" on paper, and also helps. Art work, drawing the feelings associated with the memory, help decrease the dissociation and also help relieve the pent up feelings.

Acknowledging the trauma and pain slowly can help the memory lose its terror.

7. Go slowly. I try to negotiate inside that the memory will be shared slowly, since this is less frightening than the whole thing in its entirety, which can feel overwhelming. Most memories contain the cognitive aspect (knowledge), the body memory, the visual memory, the smells/auditory components. I ask if my alters can share the knowledge, or cognition, first, then gradually, over weeks, the visual and the feelings. I keep my promise that they will be allowed to share, I just ask them to slow the sharing down. Good therapy can help tremendously here.

8. Take care of myself. This means slowing down, if I am taking on too much or am overly stressed. It means eating nutritiously, exercising, and getting plenty of sleep. It might mean asking a friend or neighbor to help with getting the kids to the school play practice this week, or saying "no" to overtime at work. It might even mean having a "day off" where I do nothing and rest, if needed.

9. Medication. There are excellent, qualified psychiatrists who understand PTSD and dissociation, and there are medications that can help tremendously with helping "slow things down" when a person feels "flooded".

10 Prayer. I ask Jesus to comfort the parts inside who are afraid and wounded, and to bring healing to them. They often only feel safe when He is there, comforting them, holding them.

http://www.essortment.com/disassociative-identity-disorder-staying-grounded-16820.html

Thank you snuffle and your right. Thank you for posting the tips i'll deff be trying them

I never know when an event is going to occur. Unless it's Andrea unleashing herself...that's always an obvious one. Cause she's dominant...but she likes witnesses. The more the merrier for her. She's incredibly malicious. Nobody is free of her wrath. And trust me...she has a lot of it. Macaiah helps Andrea keep her mouth shut. Otherwise, there'd be war everywhere. Literally.

I just acknowledge that I know they're there. But I have no idea of when I have to stop them...or when they're taking over. Especially when I'm off my meds. Can be a bit troublesome. :s

My cats help me stay grounded. I live alone, and they know when I need some extra TLC. It also occured to me once in therapy, that since my cats are all calm and not afraid of me, that whomever comes out at home must also treat them well, or they wouldn't like me. They don't know the difference. I hope!! Learning to breathe when I'm getting really upset helps me a lot; it sounds hokey, but when you breathe deep and slow a few times, when you're getting anxious and/or upset, it helps you, biologically, to slow down, and kind of work your way backwards to feeling calm again. Having that explained, made deep-breathing make sense to me. I tried it, and it works!!

Thank you both and i'll have to try deep breathing and actually give it a go... I fear i'll be sitting in class and little kiki will come out which she does and decides to draw and doddle smh any ideas of howing to stay focus in class ? maybe its because i get frustrated/bored and my mind just wonders