:( Who's we?? I know my mom drinks/drank to keep herself from feeling, thinking...remembering. I mean, I know why people drink...but it's a depressant...so it actually makes things that you're trying not to feel...only feel worst.

I know, I sound like a lecturer. I'm just stating the facts as I know them. I hope that you find something more healthy for you to help you with your emotions. :) Take care of yourself. And you're right...you can't live like that anymore...cause all it will do is hurt you more then you already do. Not just emotionally, but physically as well. :(

I hear your pain. Sorry for what you are going through. Hope you make it. If there is anything positive you can do to help, I hope you choose to do it.

Impulsive....the "we" in us is our defining characteristic. Or at least, one of them.

Jessica...there's different kinds of pain; pain caused from an injury or illness, and pain caused by healing from it. The first thing to do is learn to distinguish the difference between the two. And then learn to react differently to each one; pain caused from injury or illness needs to be paid attention to, and find out the cause so you can make the pain stop. And yes, that might lead to even more pain at first. But that is the healing pain that will go away eventually, or at least, keep the other kind of pain from getting worse. Doing anything - whether it's drinking, doing drugs, spending, eating, etc....to deaden your pain will ultimately cause your pain to get worse and worse, which in turn will cause you to want whatever it is that you're using to deaden your pain even more.

Eventually, your health, and even your life, will most likely deteriorate until you intercede somehow.

Have you considered going to AA, seeing a therapist, etc.?

how are you today?