Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Something happened last night and I think it might have been a child part. My therapist often talks about my child parts, and I don't think I have DID by the DSM-IV definition because I've never lost time or found something I had done that I don't remember doing. But these parts I think are holding memories & feelings and have their own desires. But last night, I was having a panic attack and during it I went into a flashback. During the flashback, I started screaming, but it didn't feel like it was me that was screaming. When I told my therapist about it, she said "was that the little girl?" That makes sense, but to think that a part can actually come out and do something frightens me because it makes me feel like I am not in control.
Before this - my therapist has often said that the child's feelings can carry over into my feelings. When she is frightened or sad, I may start feeling it. So I also want to ask, when one of your parts is feeling a strong emotion, do you feel it too? Can the feeling of the part totally overwhelm you?
Before this - my therapist has often said that the child's feelings can carry over into my feelings. When she is frightened or sad, I may start feeling it. So I also want to ask, when one of your parts is feeling a strong emotion, do you feel it too? Can the feeling of the part totally overwhelm you?
Our brains are very complex, memories, present feelings, external and internal processes, conscious and subconscious, and mixtures of those can really mess with out sense of 'reality' and self-perception.
There are a few concepts in psychology that use the term 'child', and not all have to do with dissociated states. The concept of inner child is not a dissociated state. We all have an 'inner child'.
DID is also not always the textbook stereotypical case. Some are not full blown with very well developed alters who live separate lives and go around for months in fugue states. Some people are always aware of things but they seem to be surreal.
The separate identity happens when we suppress, dissociate, block out from awareness, significant parts of our personality and split them, so that at times we may be consciously some of the parts of personality which develop in a compartmentalized way, and 'on the other hand' other parts of our personality that were repressed while we were on one hand may do kind of a reversal and 'wake up' while the previous becomes repressed, and this second set of traits may also develop in a compartmentalized way differently, and so there results two or more 'alters' or 'personas' , each exhibiting possibly different values, talents, world views, behaviors, etc.
So, this scream, which might be from your 'child', may be a straightforward type of PTSD flashback and not DID. If there is DID it could be related to that, as there are PTSD flashbacks often involved at the root of DID.
Remember that the parts ARE you, even if it doesn't seem like it in dissociation, so yes, those feelings and things can definitely , are definitely, affecting the whole system to some extent. PTSD and DID can sometimes get out of control, yes, but both are treatable so that we get better control, taking away the power that the original trauma had on us.
PTSD is basically that some trauma was so overwhelming at the time that we couldn't process and resolve it, but had to repress it. It doesn't stay repressed and sometimes intrudes and we get disturbed again, but these are opportunities to process it some more and resolve it more, until, hopefuly at some point we recover from the trauma and the memory is no longer as upsetting.
I have a friend with DID that I met in a recovery program. I haven't talked to her much lately but I sent her a message last night saying pretty much what I said in the post here. We chatted on-line for a few minutes this morning, but I'm going to call her this afternoon so we can have a phone conversation. She asked if I had heard of DIDNOS (Dissociative Identity Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). She said she thought that might be what I have. I'm looking more into on-line now. I guess it's when you don't meet all the criteria for DID, but it's more than PTSD. Researching it now!
I realize no one here can diagnose me. I am looking for people who can relate to what I'm going through and maybe have advice on how to work with this.
...We all seem to run together? But I do not lose time...
They call me "The Front," and speak through me in therapy, which is really REALLY weird-feeling, like my essence is being rolled up into a speaking tube and used.