I have a 13 year old son. He doesn't know I have DID. It has been fun and a struggle at the same time. Some of my parts like to be silly with him, thank goodness my core self can be silly and sarcastic anyway so it helps me hide my parts better. I'm not say whether that is right or wrong, it is what I choose and I still have enough control to do that. It's been challenging in that the last year or so I want to be alone a lot. I do stay in my room a lot, but I absolutely force myself to interact with my son when he wants my attention. He deserves that time. I try to have my issues effect him as little as possible. I am very serious about not letting the cycle of my childhood continue. I will do everything I can so my son doesn't have to face the things I have. I have been able to help him build a positive sense of self. We can take our past and learn how to give our children a life filled with love, positive self image, confidence and respect for themselves and others. It's one way we can learn something positive from our negative past. It's our chance to break the cycle. I can also say I would have ended my time here long ago, but I will not have my son have to face that. He is a beautiful, smart, funny, snuggly, loveable boy. This world needs him. He makes it a better place.

If you changed that to a nine year old son that sounds so much like how I am with my boy. I have a list of several different things going on in my head and all of the other mental illness issues are things I have had since I was extremely young, well before my son was born. The DID is new. My son and I have always called it "brain sickness" and he knows I have good days and bad and we talk about it openly so he understands he may not see that I'm sick like with a flu or a cold but that doesn't mean I'm not. On the other hand I know that one of my alters doesn't think of him as her son. He's like this cute entertaining little guy she's baby sitting for me while I'm away somewhere else. I just don't know what to tell him anymore if he asks questions :(

That sounds like you are doing a great job with it. I understand good days and bad. I have depression, anxiety/panic, PTSD, etc. I like that you have taken being open with him. Do you have a therapist? If so she/he may have some good advice about that. My son knows I go to therapy and that I wasn't treated very well as a child. When I'm exceptionally down and he notices, I just make sure I tell him it's mom and it's nothing to do with him at all. I worry the deeper I get into therapy I will lose the control I have over switching and at least being co-conscious. I guess I will cross that bridge if I get to it. You sound like a wonderful mom!

I just had another thought, I'm not sure if it's a good one though. Have you ever seen the Disney movie Inside Out? I haven't been able to watch all of it, it was very triggering for me. I found that to be the closest thing I've seen on how to describe to someone as to what it's like in my head. It could maybe help your son understand what it's like. It's not the same as DID but to someone that doesn't have a clue I think it could help at least see how busy it is in our heads.

My son and I just watched that together for the first time recently and it was a trigger for me too for a bunch of different reasons. But my little man actually asked me if that was what it was like in my head now since he knows sometimes it's not Mommy but his friend he talks to when were together.
As far as therapy and meds go, I am on disability for my PTSD but the state health care I had where I was was far below appropriate medical care. That's the main reason I had to move last month. I'm setting up a new psychologist and psychiatrist in this state bc they have better health care but TN actually took all my stabilizing meds away cold turkey as well as my sleeping medication and my emergency Xanax for the the flashbacks and panick attacks. I've been going through withdrawals and trying to cope with this newly diagnosed DID sinse now I am actually having to be as honest and open with the household about what is going on, which I haven't been for the last two years. But my family I'm living with here are setting all my appointments and getting me into the right people so I get the best care possible regardless of my time lapses.

Also hopefully I'll have my service dog back with me in the next month. I don't function well without him at all.

That's cool about your son and the movie. I can't imagine going off all meds cold turkey. I could manage some but not my sleep meds. Good medical coverage is hard to get. I still work, but get coverage through my husband's job. It sounds like you have some good support helping you get set up. I technically Don't have a service dog, I do have a dog that is a cuddler and is my best little buddy at home. I don't have many people who really know me.

The gentleman who took me off all my meds was of the generation that was diagnosing everyone with bipolar disorder and dosing them with prozac in the 80's and 90's. It was one of the more recent sad points in the history of psychology but he didn't even review the notes from my three hour initial therapy evaluation and just decided to take all my meds away and give me something called Seraquil. He didn't even look at my medical records to see that my family has a genetic defect that causes us not to produce Serotonin. With mental issues of any kind that is a really big deal. He just took me from the highest legal dose of my mood stabilizer and put me on the other stuff because he decided I wasn't dissociating I was lying and simply bipolar. My step daughter is bipolar so I couldn't help but be offended at his off handed remark that just insulted anyone who was bipolar. That's how I ended up here with my other half of my family so I have someone to watch me constantly, which at 31 makes me feel a little more disappointed in myself than I will ever admit to them, and to get better medical care because the facilities and public/federal programs for mental health in the state of Wisconsin are outstanding. And I know what you mean about people not knowing you. Animals sometimes are so much better than humans because they have that honesty, innocence, and loyalty you can't ever really find in people as much anymore. What kind of pup have you got? Can your's tell when you switch? Mine does with one of my alters from what I've heard.

I take Seroquel as one of my sleep meds. I have for years. I tried so many others and nothing works. Seroquel takes longer but it relaxes my whole body. All of the others make my head feel a bit drowsy but my body is wide awake and keeps going. My dog is an Irish Jack Russell. They are bred for temperament vs the English, which are the high energy hunting type that get a bad rap. I don't know how she is with my switching. She is very in tune with my moods though. She is always with me. She sleeps on my bed. Right now I'm laying on the couch and she is right on me. If I'm sitting up she is beside me with her head on my leg. Sometimes I don't see her and I look and she is laying by my feet. She is also playful and entertaining. If I don't start play time she'll choose a toy from her basket and play by herself. She's so cute I can't resist joining in.

WI is a beautiful state. I usually go there at least a couple times a year. I live next door in northern MN.

They just put me on it about 3 and 1/2 weeks ago and took all my other meds away cold turkey except for my aderol bc it helps me focus to work harder to cope with my panic attacks after I have a flashback. I take 200 mg the Seroquel and I have to take it two hours before I go to bed and even then it doesn't seem to shut my mind down. I was on ambien for a long time and it worked great but the first time I had a lapse in time two years ago I didn't want to tell my doctor exactly what was going on bc I thought I might be developing schizophrenia or something so I told him I slept walked and he took me off of it. It took me two years to be honest about it and that was only just last month. My pup is a boxer-mastiff mix (mastiffs are the breed of dog the one in the movie Turner and Hooch is). I was physically abused and tortured repeatedly from a toddler up until I was 20 so a dog that just looks big enough to scare people makes me feel safer. He's completely harmless though and thinks he's the size of a chihuahua or something lol. I get hypervigilant with my PTSD and can't have my back to doors and such so he "protects me" from that. He lays down on the bed behind me until I fall asleep and then once he knows I'm asleep he moves to the foot of the bed and lays down between me and the door. Since my DID started I've lived in a house in TN with four people or after my move last month now it's 8 people so I'm learning from the people I live with more about my alters. Apparently my Nikola Tesla reserves all his play time with me for when he can tell my alter Lilly is here.

You are definitely right about WI being beautiful. Back in TN we don't really get real snow. We get ice and lots of it. It was 65 Dec 23 this year back in TN bc apparently we forgot we have to do that whole winter thing lol. I'm trying to get used to the cold which is a bit much for me now but I'm so excited to actually get to go sledding! We don't get enough to do that back home. My Aunt and my Uncle are even talking about getting me skiing and snowboarding lessons! I'm just excited to finally have enough snow for once in my life to lay down and make a snow angel! I'm 31 and that sounds really immature but it's something I've never been able to do before. What's MN like? I'm assuming you have similar weather patterns but do you have hills and stuff or is it flat like we are here near Milwaukee or like in Des Moines, Iowa? Sorry for all the questions I'm just fascinated!