Multiple Personalities Support Group

Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...

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Controller

sossie
sossie
So my husband started seeing a new counseler last night, and he told her that his controller is gone, that he is not talking or helping any more.
He told her that this was the one that has all the intellegance and now he feels dumb.
She was a little shocked by this for a number of reasons.
But the biggest was that it was not a good thing and that he needed to get the controller back to help get everyone under control.

Has anyone ever had this problem before?
deleted_user
deleted_user
We think it was out of line for the T to say the intelligence of the system was gone just because the controller was gone. Aside from that, if by the "controller" you mean the alter who knows the system well and communicates with most of the alters, etc. then yes we had that happen once. It was for a two month period. We just had some other part take on that role as best they could. In our case, the alter (me, Vera) left because I was so exhausted and needed a break. Don't know if this is what is going on with your husband but perhaps another strong alter can step up. Perhaps an internal vote may work.
sossie
sossie
No she didn't say that the intelligence was gone he said that because I think he feels stupid because he can't remember things like he use to. He feels that the controller has been gone since 2006.

Sorry for the confusion
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not remembering can be very scarey and frustrating but it does not mean a person is stupid. There is a reason one does not remember things. With MPD/DID there are major issues with not remembering, but it is anything but stupidity. It shows just how smart the brain can be to set up such an intricate defense system. Please remind him of this. He is creative and intelligent to have defended himself in such a way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
we understand you husbands frustration, it can be quite hard to gain any understand why some one would dissappears. it can be hard and have to see from both points of view. The controller might just need a break rest his weary head
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please share with your husband that only the most intelligent people have the ability to split off parts of themselves to handle what the main person can not. There have been many studies done of this.
It may be some part thinking they are dumb, that he doesn't recognize as a part.
I personally am wondering why he is not the "controller" of the parts. I am also wondering why he is not here posting for himself. I am new here and don't know everyone's story.
Is he journaling? That is the best thing he can do to understand the parts as they come up and what is happening with his life.
If this part has been gone since 2006, someone has been doing the work.
I do not agree with the therapist that he has to go find this part. Parts come and go for a reason. Their own reasons.
One of the best things my therapist taught me was to have parts pair up, with a big taking care of a little so they all could get the nurturing, love and parenting they needed until the face/body could do it.
Talking to my parts and thanking them for their jobs has been so rewarding both for me and my parts. I tell them how much I love them too. So important for the parts to hear. Silver