Yes, all of our parts are responsible for what any of our parts does. That is so frustrating, but it is true. However, guilt isn't going to help. It just makes us depressed, when what we need to do is make plans on how to avoid harming ourselves or others. The issues that each of our people are dealing with are probably the root reasons for the self injury and stuff. As they come forward and can talk through those things to the point where the whole system gains understanding, the harm will probably decrease. You're on a good track. Keep up the work. We're all here to root you on.

I think of DID as a bunch of grapes. We are all individuals, however all connected at the same time.

Perhaps we are charged with taking responsibility for keeping "the team" safe in the short term and healing in the long term.

I don't see a useful role for either blame or guilt.

we struggled with this guilt too, but in a slightly different way, April. those around us kept instisting it was everybody's fault that there was one of us acting out in such ways. Midgit as she now desides to call herself was bent on self harm. Kelly was bent on taking out all those around us. she was quite known for pulling knives on my husband. he doesn't like to talk about it. he actually was smart after a while to understand that it was the individuals acting not the collective. (although on other stuff he still tends to lump us together but he's getting better.)

what it broke down to is the individual was responsible for their individual actions, while the collective and the dominates are responsible for working towards overall healing and communication in our system. now that's just us. we have a stystem where the majority of us are individually developed identities.

when I Lily started making the others take responsibility for themselves it was interesting both internally and externally. not a huge overnight change, but very interesting.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this. Not sure what we think about it yet.
51percent - my therapist has said the same thing.

It depends on how deep your dissociative state is at that time. If you can be co-conscious at that moment, than you may be able to rely on the help of your stronger personalities. They may be able to redirect your actions. However, do not be so hard on yourself if that personality does act out. Its a trust issue. I find in the process of healing each personality finds a bit of safety with other personalities. If the personality that is having a problem does not feel safe around the others or does not trust others than they will act out to take care of themselves. But if that personality has joined forces with another healthier personality you may be able to avoid acting out when you rely on the strength of the one who has experienced true healing. I hope you can follow my thoughts here. If you do not understand just ask me. Hope you find strength in your others!

wow! 51%, that was the best explanation I have ever heard about SI. There is a young person I know who has just told me they are trying to stop that, and they said something along the same lines, but I didn't get it. Thanks for sharing.