Good to see you again loum, this sounds like a good opportunity to me. An opportunity to heal.

My (fragmented)child holds onto hurt and self doubt but I'm not sure how to connect with him to help him process... It just comes out as anger/depression/anxiety and self harm is my medication.
I'm going to try and do some journaling and see if that helps.

Perhaps you can make progress with your therapist and let us know what works for you.

I think in therapy with DID it is essential that others attend therapy. As you stated yourself he was severely abused. He is also in need of help. Who needs therapy more than someone abused as bad as he was? I think your therapist is right to be pleased, as this shows he is willing to trust somewhat. I think it is awesome that he is coming forward, even if it doesn't feel so great to you. It can make things worse for us in the short term, as it often brings up some rough emotions, but in the long term it is best that everyone inside is able to heal. I think this also says something very positive about your therapist. And on top of this you were able to be co-conscious and see what was going on in therapy. Congratulations!!!!

I fully agree with omii and what they wrote. I am also extremely impressed that you were able to be co-conscious in this situation. I am well aware that I have at least 1/2 dozen child parts that interact with my therapist and the worst feeling I have is always being left out! I really want to know what is going on and I guess when things are ready, it will happen? Being patient about this is extremely difficult as there are so many times I want to talk and work through things and I never have the chance to speak with my therapist!

At any rate, it is good to hear that you are making progress in your healing as this is a huge step between the trust and the co-consciousness.

I agree with everyone above. The Dark, angry aggressive alters are the ones that need the most help. My T is ALWAYS happy to meet them and begin to get to know them. That does show a bit of trust. And yes it sucks when you need time to talk and 'they' take all of the time. If I don't remember parts of the therapy I just ask my T to fill me in - that way I don't feel out of the loop. My T allows me to send her emails. Sometimes if I want to talk about something I email her and tell her I need to talk and a bit about what it is. Good luck - this is the hardest work you will ever do - but worth it too.

Thank you. I would like to tell the whole story. I've been dealing with some very serious health issues. My doctor thought that I had blood cancer and sent me to an oncologist, but after a skeletal scan and a bone marrow biopsy she found that I didn't have blood cancer. I'm having injections for Anemia and I've been having blood transfusions also. My bone marrow is finally starting to produce blood. Things physical are starting to look better. I have to have more tests, but I'm not as concerned about these as much.

This leaves me able to do more work on the psychological issues. I have awakened at 2AM for as long as I can remember. I've had flash backs, waking up in terror and sometimes screaming. Last Tuesday it happened and I was able to be co-conscious with the part that was in terror and was able to bring that part to therapy with me. My therapist and I were able to talk about it in much more depth because that alter was there and able to rember much more. That helped and I was able to sleep without waking up at 2AM for 3 days.

Saturday that alter that was abused was triggered. And for 4 days it was very present and so was the depression with strong urges to hurt myself. This Wednesday when I woke up I had a splitting head ache and that alter took control and was very depressed and able to talk to my therapist about how he felt and why. I think this was a real break through and it seems to be helping.

Yeah, that is a very big breakthrough!

...Since I'm co-conscious, more or less, it is really weird when I'm talking and suddenly a kid voice pops out of my mouth...and it's not me anymore.
...One of my kids is more, um *distant*, and I have to be reminded of what she says when she's out.

yes it has happened to me as well...she has to be extra careful when she deals with mine...as he is aggressive and sometimes does nasty thing...like cutting, banging and punching...also threatens to grab the scissors in her office, she had to put them away whenever I came over or I had to sit facing her so she cld see me switch..he was always in session when I fist started seeing my T, slowly he relaxed a little..he is a good boy just gets upset for all reasons...need to calm him down sometimes...
Hope u can work with ure little people with therapy and ure T seems to be welcoming him that's a good thing, that's positive...
take care

My physical health has improved. I don't have blood cancer and I haven't needed a blood transfusion in over two months.

NowI'm able to work on my D.I.D. and bipolar issues. We do a lot of work on mindfulness. I have one alter that is very confused. We were working with that one in therapy today. I feel embarrassed by some of my alters and it's hard to talk about them, especially the submissive one and the female one.

It's important for me to talk about them. I did let my therapist know that I had women's jeans on and a women's top on. I didn't tell her I had panties on. She was very accepting of it. I'm trying to talk about them more and I have a little.

I'm really happy your physical issues are better and you're able to work on other stuff, sounds like you're making progress and I hope you'll continue to share the journey with us, thank you!

therapy for us is always a crap-shoot of not know who will be there. I feel bad for the therapist who has to go with whomever it ends up being.

I'm fortunate that my therapist specializes in D.I.D. and adults abused as children. She appreciates when one of my alters shows up at therapy. It's taken a long time for them to start showing up there. I think they are starting to trust her. Trust is a very hard thing for some of them. There are others that want to trust her, but are not ready. She is very patient, understanding and afferming.

Did any have to wear clothing of a different gender as a child?

My mother had me wear woman's jeans when I was in junior high school. The ones with the side zipper. She also had me wear peddle pushers.

Lately I've been wearing woman's clothing more and more. It seems like that's Alli want to wear, jeans, tops, panties and sweats.