It's not necessary to say nothing, nor to hope it's just you. We all need to develop better social skills. We all need to do reality checks. That was what a wise person told me. If I'm thinking that something is true then it's good to check to see if it really is, and if I can't check then not to be so sure, but maybe ask, or check it out in other ways, by Research. my Researcher alter really is quite helpful to me, and I hope others, about learning about things. and yeah, sometimes, even if we know that someone is faking, which we actually have all agreed on, though maybe we don't agree on who is faking what, sometimes it's not wise to just jump right on it.

so, we all make mistakes, and it takes guts to admit it and then move on. Maybe you can learn the lesson, not to just totally shut up, or think it's just you, or just me, but be more wise. We are all trying to learn to be more wise.

n maybe it wasn't just totally you that scared me. The original post scared me some too, cuz it invited your response, and then when you responded to that first original post then I was sure that was poisonous.

peace

we all make mistakes if intent is good mistakes can be corrected and move on ,, courageous to apologize did not see it keep supporting your friends there are alot of vulneralbe folks in here but we are survivors and many of us have some tough protectors ,, we will survive and you have given good support to your friends peace

You are a valuable part of this board K. Thanks for still being here.

everybody is a valuable part of this board. Separate the person from the behavior. The person is valuable,, (every person).. while sometimes the behavior needs improvement (everyone's behavior cuz nobody is perfect )

From our experience you havent done anything to cause harm within this group K2S. You have no idea how much it meant to so many littles the effort you put into awarding the art pieces on the littles board. When you have made mistakes you have always been quick to apologise which does take maturity and needs to be commended. Like has been mentioned already noone is perfect and we all mistakes on a daily basis but we try and learn from those and move on. All we can say is keep up the good effort and thanks for being part of this group.

I don't think I saw the post, but I think it's noble to apologize. I agree about the issue of fallability. We all will if given time. Hopeful you are feeling good today. :-)

i dare say we all in here from time to time say things less than kind and dont even realize it it is part of the human experience the main thing is intent ,,, are we here to harm or help or just bloviate to hear ourselves talk , we all have opinions maybe we need to be mindful we all are surivvors and some prosurvivors here to support k2 has been massively supportive with this many vulnerable soldiers of life and varying backgrounds we are bound to offend at times or talk too much or get into ourselves so what we are here to find some experience strength and hope,, In AA we learn to listen to each and comment thoughtfully well maybe we all can just take more time thinking before goikng on and on about something as I see in AA some folks just use it to dominate the conversation each of us need to think alot about where each person is coming from mabe before we go with run on sentences ,,, and each life experinence each response hopefully is with the other in mind,,,, to uplift to add not to take,, just my two cents

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR ALL FELLOW TRAUMA AND DID SURVIVORS AT THE BOTTOM. PLEASE READ, MY FRIENDS. :)


Hey, Kevin,

I knew you weren't purposely trying to set anyone off, and really I do understand the idea of there being people that are hard to believe--all over the internet, really; I know the kind of thinking through your ideas you did when you posted was similar in ways to what I did in response when I went through the "things in common" and had to logically separate myself from it. Really, you were just thinking "aloud" about it. The trouble comes in when DID'ers and trauma victims and other people with broken reality-checking--like me--come in, find something possibly in common with themselves in those traits you're musing about, and start freaking out. I tried to be fairly rational in my response--which I hope I was successful in doing--and my putting that response out there was just as much for me as it was for anyone else.

I can tell you're a good person and would never do anything to upset people purposely; you just have to be patient with folks like us sometimes, because we may take a little longer to straighten our heads, so to speak, and calm down. I don't want you to refrain from speaking your mind about things, Kevin, and I don't think anyone here really wants that, either. We all have doubts about other people sometimes; healthy skepticism can help keep us alive, after all. I don't want you to "say nothing and hope it's just you"; we need to have these encounters and see them resolved in a timely fashion, like this one was here, so that we can understand that the things that have happened in the past are not doomed to happen over and over again: Not everyone is a jerk that wants to hurt us and make us miserable, etc. We can all learn about each other through experiences like this.

We get scared and have trust issues--even with ourselves. But people like you who are honest and considerate help us fix broken reality-testing and learn there are people worth trusting out there. You can't take responsibility for triggering us when you had no idea this would happen; we have to meet each other half way on this stuff.

Thanks for being a part of the group, Kevin. You don't have to be perfect to post here--no one does. I appreciate your concern for all of us--concern for both how insincere internet folks can disrupt a community and for our feelings in regards to your words. Your actions are those of a person who cares, so please don't beat yourself up about this.


**CUE IMPORTANT NOTE FOR MY DAILYSTRENGTH BUDDIES**

And, guys? As in everyone else, too? Don't beat yourselves up about this, either. Don't drive yourself nuts trying to figure out what is real and what is fake. Don't worry yourself sick over how you react or think or feel. The time to doubt ourselves is over. We were broken over and over again already trying to figure this stuff out, and we were trying to make sense of nonsense by doing that, basically, because the shit in life that got us here DIDN'T make sense, as much as we would have liked it to. You don't have to keep doing this to yourself over and over again every time. You really don't. You can give yourself a break. It's okay. It really is.

It doesn't matter how distinct or indistinct your parts are. It doesn't matter who has what problems or thinks in which way. All that matters is being true to all those parts and honest to ourselves about those problems and thoughts so that we can help ourselves and everyone else here get up and move on and have a healthier life.

If you have a hunch about something, stick to it. Follow it through to the end, see if you're right. And if it turns out you're not... so what? Adopt a new hypothesis and run the gauntlet again. You'll have learned so much from the experience that it won't even feel like a mistake once you're through. Everything's a learning experience. And we have to learn to fall and get back up so we can keep on going in life. And we'll go far. Trust me.

I love you all. You're great. Don't doubt yourselves. Trust yourself. You don't have to worry. If you need a break, take one. We'll all be here when you come back. If you make a mistake, no problem. We understand you're only human, just like us. Seriously. Don't worry.

I just got a message that I was, indeed, the target of the first post, and the following. It was kind of clear that it was me, because although my name was not mentioned the description was me. I defended myself, not by trying to substantiate anything that I don't have to prove to anybody, but by demonstrating that witchhunts are not good here and that the weapon used to attack can boomerang on the attacker.

so, before you "If you have a hunch about something, stick to it. Follow it through to the end, see if you're right. And if it turns out you're not... so what? " make sure your own face is clean, cuz the 'so what' could be that the person you are hurting fights back, and doesn't cower like some insecure little. I'm big.
.

That was so sweet and thoughtful aikitsune.
Let us not be surprised by our own reactions.
Protectors by nature question everyone's motive.
My protector thinks everyone in here is scary and untrustworthy.
That is his job period.
I bring my "professor" side to this group, mostly, because I want to offer support and be helpful.
Most everyone in here is so sweet and supportive and I believe we all make an effort to be respectful and non judgemental.
Thank you everyone for making an effort to keep this place safe, it means a lot.
(((Hugs)))

Guess I should clarify, xa1nbowxR. When I say "if you have a hunch about something, stick to it," I meant *about ourselves*. I'm not suggesting anyone relentlessly attack others in pursuit of the truth. The point I was trying to make with that message was that we have to trust ourselves about ourselves. That's often something trauma teaches us not to do, and we have to relearn it--and then even after we have relearned it, there are times we still revert back to it. Old defenses die hard. So sometimes being reminded about trusting ourselves helps.

Does that make more sense? I didn't mean to suggest we go on witch hunts on a whim or that hurting others is okay. I'm sorry it came off that way. :(

Xa1, I want to offer my support... I don't judge or question your authenticity... My protector does but please don't take that personally, because he questions everyone in here and thinks everyone is fake.
We are learning, growing and hopefully healing in here.
Let us not put one another on the defensive, we have been defending ourselves for too long... This is a space for healing not defending - from Yoda , professor
(((Hugs)))

ohhh aikitsune.. I've been so impressed with your writing. I wish I could write like that. I'm amazed at all you wrote. It was that one tiny phrase that seemed to encourage people to get a hunch that somebody is fake and pursue it to find out the truth.

John, none of me trusts anybody, Alice in Wonderland doesn't trust anybody and finds them all to be kind of well, she has trouble relating, Janis thinks like Kosmic Blues, that everybody is going to let her down, Polly thinks everything and body is just wonderful but that's not out of trusting them, more cuz optimism,, well, Polly is Polly and dissociated, so my protector is not just scared and mistrusting, my protector is the defender, the Beast, and not sweet. My protector is military, and does what he has to do to ward off attack.
This is a place for defending too, if need be. Are we supposed to just s*it and take it if someone attacks? It is that this is to be a place where there is no need to defend, a place that is not for attacking. and that's one of our issues. We were too little to effectively defend ourselves when we were really little, but does that mean we have to just still take everybody's crap forever? Not me.