not usually by choice. Our host (Stephanie) is continually fighting with denial. Ironically that makes her more dependent on us to deal with life, and makes her memory issues worse, which is what bothers her most. So, if she would learn to be more accepting of the idea that we are all here, then the chances that we all can join together to function well will be better. Kind of twisted, no?

Mommy baileys been through alot. Shes getting sick so we have to let her rest so she doesn't get more sick. Ella says it's the only way we can keep mommy safe! We can't let her out. - brookie

Your welcome Bailey. For every time I picked your sorry ass off the ground and saved you from making huge mistakes. You think I was gonna let you go like that?!? You can just decide that you don't want to live anymore. It's our choice. Not yours. Sure you've been through hell, so have I! You think I don't care, that I scare you that Im hurting you?! Well your hurting us! Your hurting everyone because you can't take it anymore. Well I won't let you do this to us. I will put you away for good if I have to. You here me?!? It doesn't matter that we don't have a family anymore. We have eachother you dont need them. They are not your family anymore. Think about what shadow told you. You don't need them. I will NOT tolerate your ignorance any longer. YOU HERE ME BITCH?!?! you better stop pulling shit or so help me god I will put you away. I will make you wish you never did what you've done. I WILL PUT YOU AWAY FOREVER!!!! I MEAN IT!!!! - Ella

Sounds like a typical abusive family... The littlest child is trying to protect her mom, while another family member yells and threatens... Something to think about, Ella.

Ella, I can see you're trying to protect them, and that's a tough job. The hardest part of the job is protecting them emotionally, because without THAT protection, physical protection isn't all that effective. Emotional protection is also the hardest for protectors to learn to do, because we haven't had very good role models for it, have we? If you can learn it, though, you'll be able to make a world of difference for all of you. It's worth the effort, believe me.
Bailey didn't have much love and compassion growing up, and that's true for many of us. Instead we were kept in line with threats. It didn't really help us grow into balanced adults. Healing can come only when she receives that love and compassion from her inner family, and especially from you. It's hard, I know. My Janice is struggling with the idea, but she's trying to learn, and that means so much to us. When we're no longer threatened by our own inner family, we can finally stop being afraid all the time, I hope.

I'm sorry you've been sick, Bailey. I hope you feel better soon, with everyone's help.

Wistala

So denial of DID makes inner communication more difficult? .. That makes sense.. He says he just wants his alters to go away.. and to be normal.. I told him that it just doesnt work that way.. So I guess that thought process could be interfering with inner communication?

ok, writing from the host perspective at this point, yes. I'd say denial is getting in the way of communication since my alters have a better communication system with people on this board than I do. Did I mention it freaks me out when obvious stuff pops up that points out the DID? I know I should just get over it, but it's not that simple. So, we can be in denial together, and learn acceptance together too :)