HI, you can start off by telling us a little bit about yourself, or not. It's whatever you want it to be. Whatever you give to it will come back to you. Nice to see someone new.

Well.. um.. I've done a lot of treatment before (multiple hospital visits, 2 long term hospital residential, over 100+ suicide attempts, over 17 different psychiatric meds at one point or another) ..I have been semi homeless since March.. I have not had a therapist since December, I have been off medications 1 1/2 years (and better off then on) I am trying to get a therapist.. I have DID..Though un-diagnosied.. My best friend has been traveling with me and has spoken to a few of the alters..

Been having difficulty past 2 days.. Have been self harming.. Had a terrible nightmare last night that I woke up in a facility and my mom was talking to me playing mind games and I apparently had attacked the house and killed my father.. and I didn't have any recollection of it in the dream..

When I woke up my tongue felt all knotted because I was trying to think how I would explain something like that to a doctor.. I am kinda afraid something like that might actually happen Because I sometimes do things I half don't remember doing or I remember it as something it wasn't.. As well as I have been having un-explainable anger and have even hit my dog., :(

Am working on getting back into martial arts, therapy, and a place to live, etc.

Am terrified of the thought of hospitals, residential, medications, being controlled.. More so then death itself if possible..

Yes, i am also terrified of the thought of hospitals and being drugged. A lot of my switches are usually fear or rage (depression) based. Do you plan on getting diagnosed soon and what are your future plans for therapy?

Right now I don't know.. I am having difficulty finding a therapist who might understand or have experience in such areas, or whom will understand me and take my insurance..

I don't know.. I am afraid of seeing a therapist too.. I am afraid of what they may try and force me to do..

Sorry right now I feel like crying..

I don't really understand the big picture of therapy, i guess that's partly why i am here. I have big fears that they will try and get parts to talk to them or i will be looked at as a freak. i know its so archaic of me. I am trying to work myself up to finally see a real therapist but the ones i have seen have been god awful, so i'm not really excited to try again.