I was watching parenthood last Tuesday night and the parent who has a child with Aspergers said exactly what i feel, sometimes we need to remember its ok to use whatever methods necessary to get the job done including bribes. Ive used bribes with my internals for a long time. The bigger the task I want them to do the bigger the reward. For example, to get good results in school for the term would result in 1 week of the school holidays doing as many things as possible within my financial means to do what makes them happy and is safe for everyone. As for external people my guys are pretty good at working out who cant and can sort of be trusted and so using their method of knowing who can be trusted I turn to these external people and ask for their help.

Doggonit, hopeless, I hate to see you in that situation...but if it's any comfort at all in knowing, I've been in that predicament a whole buncha' times. And although things didn't turn out like I had planned, I've still managed somehow to still find a way to do the best I can in any given situation. Having said that, I am thinking the more important thing to figure out is, why the shut-down has happened...my first guess is perhaps some little(s) inside are afraid that their time will be used up studying, or maybe scared of someone you know there.???
Just a hazardous guess....???
As far as outside help, have you connected with anyone in your counseling office, and/or do you have a therapist you're working with right now?

hi hopeless
dunno how it works with multiples but i found tyzz's method always worked well with my 2 kids. When my youngest was 6 his school told me he wasn't very bright and thatt our family issues had only made things worse - I had just acromoniously seperated from his mum. He couldn't read and could hardly write - They told me he was a colossal fail and would have to repeat his year. And this was early in the year. I had custody of him over the easter holidays so i made up cards and every day we would spend 2 or 3 sessions working. If he gotthings right or even if he just tried hard - he got chocolate easter eggs. From memory he got well over 100 eggs during 2 weeks of effort (how he never got sick is beyond me) - and he got a most improved award from school. He caught up with and in some cases surpassed kids in his year, and he never looked back

bribes work, but i prefer to call them peformance enhancers and behaviour modifiers
lol

i hope you get this sorted amongst yourselves cos this is such an important thing for all of you - good luck with it
kevin

a PS
my youngest graduated from tassie uni last year with a degree in environmental science and is doing a masters year in peru at the moment. I am so proud of him
:- ))

Thanks for the comments guys and I have to "bribe" my littles just to get to class and be able to have some your of focus .. I think kiki wrote this yesterday because we are afraid of graduating.. I don't want to have to go back home .. I've already fallen behind that I don't get to graduate this yr have to wait till next yr but I'll try bribing but focusing on papers doesnt last long..

Tyzz: asking for help is really hard for us


Starfish: I stopped seeing my counselor at school she sent me away we dont trust her anymore

K2 your son story is inspirational

hopeless I am much older than you been there done it got the t shirt I believe there is more help now than ever,, BUIT you must have a therapsit that at least understands trauma,,,, at the least and your BIG parts can and will find a way I did not even get a diagnosis until my life had been a da,, trainwreck except for teaching which was cut short by stressors,, and no family no real friends now at my age i have one friend , who knows and gets it cuz she is a doctor,, I empathize with you but you can find help and I support you ,, There are former generations who could not even get any help and they would just lock the family members in jail or crazy houses ,,, do not give up on yourself i have had breast cancer rape you name it still here one day at a time, and just understanding litlles alters etc after a life of suffering alone,, all I am saying is reach out make your voice heard never ever throw in the towel,, if you need me I am here anytime warrior

I'm in the same boat unfortunately, hardly anyone in my system will actually lift a finger towards school and when we switch during school everything goes blank and i forget everything i was supposed to learn. Your not alone.

Maybe it's the change that is looming at this time of year. I'm a home-schooing mom and even I don't feel like doing school, neither does my son. So...it's hard to get anything done. We sympathize and hope you will find the courage to complete what you are doing so that you can get opportunities for better days

Better days are ahead,, it is spring time and a time of renewal for me I hope you can go take a walk or enjoy nature and enjoy your self a bit

Trust me HL25 I know just how difficult it is to ask for help. Just reently we got into trouble at university because we didnt ask what we were meant to be doing in class. The lecturer why I didnt ask for clarification of the task and I practically looked at him with a blank stare on my face. Im certain if I hd of asked for help i would have got even better marks than I have over my years in education. I guess Im fortunate that I have an internal who loves learning which has allowed me to get reasonably good results once reaching inviversity even though I practically failed Yr 12 when i was 18 yrs old. I think we need to value the other "smarts" we gain in our life that we have gained from having to grow up far too early within our lives. .

I wish you could find some of Maya Angelous books they are very inspiring,, NO to quitting , not an option