Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Okay...I have a friend I've been corresponding with since 2010 or so, she's a survivor...and over time I got to meet at least three of her alters.
...And I will preface this by saying I have flat-out told her she needs better help than myself, many times...she can't seem to get such with her insurance and where she lives.
She has an introject/persecutor whose mission it is to kill her.
The persecutor has tried to stab her, tried to HANG her, and is probably responsible for her winding up in the snow, naked, 30 miles away from where she was the night before.
The persecutor is basically angered by me because I tell my friend nice things. That alter and I got into a big argument because I keep telling my friend that what happened to her isn't her fault. This angers the persecutor no end.
...The alt also threatened to cut off communication.
As a bargain of sorts I told the alter that I would only interact with the others when the others contacted me first.
...Now my friend believes I don't care about her because I don't say anything unless she contacts me first!
I DID explain to her this at the time, as far as I can remember, and she agreed that it would be so...at least I think I was talking to the original friend.
Anyway, I want to help her, I care about her.
But it seems like everything I do turns out wrong, and I often end up feeling like an idiot.
If y'all have any answers or insights, let me know, but I/we just needed to vent.
...This is super-super-super frustrating.
...And I will preface this by saying I have flat-out told her she needs better help than myself, many times...she can't seem to get such with her insurance and where she lives.
She has an introject/persecutor whose mission it is to kill her.
The persecutor has tried to stab her, tried to HANG her, and is probably responsible for her winding up in the snow, naked, 30 miles away from where she was the night before.
The persecutor is basically angered by me because I tell my friend nice things. That alter and I got into a big argument because I keep telling my friend that what happened to her isn't her fault. This angers the persecutor no end.
...The alt also threatened to cut off communication.
As a bargain of sorts I told the alter that I would only interact with the others when the others contacted me first.
...Now my friend believes I don't care about her because I don't say anything unless she contacts me first!
I DID explain to her this at the time, as far as I can remember, and she agreed that it would be so...at least I think I was talking to the original friend.
Anyway, I want to help her, I care about her.
But it seems like everything I do turns out wrong, and I often end up feeling like an idiot.
If y'all have any answers or insights, let me know, but I/we just needed to vent.
...This is super-super-super frustrating.
About the promise you made to not contact her first. See she may not remember about that in other alters, or even the same. So maybe that promise can be cancelled.
I understand why the persecutor would be angry, but don't let yourself be bullied. It seems that you have been on the border of being yourself too much of a caretaker, which you've mentioned in wanting to consult other experts and balance.
Those are my views, from here. I realize others may have perspectives from different angles too. Take what you like and leave the rest.
i've been in a similar situation and hadn't even realised that i was in a war of attrition. I suspect it's very hard to win such strugggles cos the thing is, the alter(s?) that don't want your friend to have your friendship are pretty much there 24/7 for ever.
And i handled it badly
i don't have any advice for you in your situation, but for me - i wish i hadn't pushed it so often, cos every time i did, the part that didn't want me in their life quietly closed down another chunk of friendship. And i wish i hadn't taken things personally so often, cos that was when i pushed it. I think that if i'd accepted 2nd best in the friendship i wouldn't have ended up with 5th or 6th best
good luck with it