Motherless Daughters Community Group

For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.

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ladybug99 05/18/2013

I have a hard time remembering things from before my mom died. I was 14 when she died and I remember her being sick but don't have any direct memories of her. I wish I could remember things we did or any interaction we had. I feel like I don't even know my mom and that hurts.

Does anyone else not remember childhood? How do you handle not being able to remember?

deleted_user 05/18/2013

Luckily I have pictures of our family before she was diagnosed. I call it before the amputation. Her amputation was the first step in her treatment process so I also have lack of most memories "before". I have a brother and sister who are 10 and 12 year older, so they are a great source for giving me memories from before. I have over the years had our conversations pop into my head during her illness when something was happening and I really wanted her....i would remember something she told me that helped. It's funny, as a tween then a teen, I didnt even think I was listening, but I guess I was. I guess thats why she crammed in as much as she could. Do you have any previous conversations that you remember at all?

BooClouds 05/19/2013

Sadly, many of my memories have faded. Even the sound of my Mom's voice is gone...and I really cannot come up with very much to provide an accurate portrayal of her, either. She passed away 34 years ago when I was 7...life with my Dad after that was at most a game of survival until I became independent from him.

Somewhere along the way I think I have given up on being able to have valid memories -- in part due to the fact that people close to my Mom have passed away and also because my Dad has been inaccurate in her portrayal as a way of being a controlling parent.

At this point in my life now that I have been a Mom for 12 years....I focus on getting through one day at a time...and that is all I can do.

stillearning57 05/19/2013

I could have written this post. My mom passed away when I was 12. I have very few memories of who she was or any interaction between us. It's something I am still dealing with many years later and am very determined to find some kind of resolution. I am making progress. Unfortunately I have no relatives left who can answer any questions for me. That might be a way to go if you have any. - stillearning57

ladybug99 05/19/2013

Unfortunately I have no memory of any conversations or any interaction with my mom. I can't remember her voice and I only can remember what she looked like because I have a picture of her. I have two brothers who were 8 and 15 when mom died. I have wanted to talked to my older brother about what he remembers but have a hard time opening up to people, family included so I struggle with asking my brother or any extended family. Part of this is due the fact that it has been 27 years since mom died and I believe people won't understand that I am still dealing with it.

Daisydd I am glad you have some memories/conversations that you remember. I hope that is comforting for you.

BooClouds, sorry your dad is controlling and not helpful. I hope that being a mom can give you some focus and joy in life.

Stilllearning, sounds like we have similar stories. I hope you continue to make progress.

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