so maybe this sounded creepy and I guess I didn't think before posting it but I am serious. just someone to be like a mom? I promise I'm not crazy or anything, I just want to know what its like.

CCool, when did you lose your mother?

7 years ago. I was only 5 so I don't remember her

That is so sad. I lost my mother at the age of 16. It is very hard for a child to go through life without a mother. We miss out on so many things.
I'm a mother and grandmother now, but I will never forget the loneliness of not having a mom.
Do you have any close aunts or grandmothers?

no, I have 2 brothers and a dad but I haven't seen 1 brother in a year and I haven't seen my dad in 10 months.
what was it like having a mom?

I felt "normal" when I had a mother. She died suddenly when I was 16. After that, I felt like I didn't belong in conversations when girls were talking. It seemed the conversations always involved talk about moms.

When girls would find out that my mother had died, there was an uncomfortable silence, or someone would say something like they wouldn't know how to exist if their mother died.

This was a long time ago. There were no support groups or grief counseling. If there are support groups in your area for motherless daughters, I would advise you to join one. Your guidance counselor at school might be able to help you.

I'm so sorry you are feeling so alone.

I just noticed that you haven't seen your dad in a long time. Who do you live with?

I'm not a girl. I live with my brother for now

Have you had any counseling? Do you have an aunt or a grandmother?

I have a counselor from t the hospital but its more like making sure I understand whats going on and not so much like past stuff
I never met any

Have you ever told your counselor how much you miss having a mother? If not, I think you should.

I have told her and she says that nobody can replace that loss and I know she right but I still want to know what its like. its on my list to do list and I actually had a really long list but I made it shortrr to just 3 things so I can maybe do 1 or2 and I know like if I go back in a foster home maybe I'll get lucky and have someone be kind of like a mom but my social worker says she probly can't find a family that would be willing to go threw all this. I know having a mom shouldn't be a big deal but for some reason it is and I don't know why

I understand that having a mom is a really big deal. I understand your feelings. I hope you have success in finding a loving foster mother.

I don't want another foster home

(((((CCool))))) I understand your feelings. Since you don't want another foster mom, I don't know what to suggest. I hope you find peace in some way.