Morbidly Obese 100 lbs overweight Community Group
For people who are CURRENTLY morbidly obese by definition. 100 + lbs overweight. If you want to talk about things without being judged or pressured by skinny people telling us how to lose weight, then you will be welcome here. Not meant to be an angry group, but a emotional support group. Please no harassing or bullying. Thank you.
Hi guys, its been a while since ive been on the messege boards but i have been working on losing weight the past couple months. ive really been struggling but have managed to lose about 5 lbs (not what i wanted but at least its something i guess).
i think a lot of the reason im having a hard time getting the wait off is because of relationship issues i am having. I know this isnt a messege board for relationships but im hoping for some advice anyway. Just really need some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for amost seven years now. He is a very nice guy, and very kind hearted. i think this is what attracted me to him right away is that because of my weight i was often treated crappy by men. i didnt put up with it, but id had my share of heart break so it was refreshing to be around a man who was nice to me. Sometimes im not sure if i was really in love with him when we got together or if it just felt good to have a man treat me well. Either way i have a lot of love for him now that we have been together for song.
The problem is (and has always been) with his family. He financially supports his adult brother and father. his father is disabled and i have no problem with him, but his brother is just lazy and wont get a job. he lives in our garage and plays xbox all day long. Im very resentful of him because we work very hard to put food on the table and he does absolutly nothing to help.
For the past few years i have been trying to get my boyfriend to kick his brother out of our house but he wont do it. he says he cant have his family going homeless and he often helps his bother with his bills. Often times i feel like ive been put on the back burner so he can afford to take care of his family. Im at the point in life where im ready to get married and have children. Whenever i bring it up he tells me he wants to but we just cant afford to.Just seems that while im busy with working full time and cooking and cleanng that im also put last in what i want and need out of our relationship. Ive been hoping he would come to his senses about his brother but i dont think he ever will and it just kills me that something so dumb could ruin our relationship.
I love my boyfriend very much and i think he is a great guy but i just dont know if we will ever be able to get past this. ive considered giving ultamatums but i just dont know if thats the right thing to do. I feel that i deserve to get married and have children and be happy in my life but how can i do this in this situation? im just not sure if this is working for me anymore and it absolutly breaks my heart! The worse part is that latley our sex life has been terrible! we have gone from having sex 3-4 times a week to once or twice every two weeks. ive tried to make things more exciting but he constantly falls asleep early or says hes tired. i just dont know what to do anymore or how to even talk to him without starting an argument. i dont know if i can completly walk away from him but i just know this isnt working for me. Just dont know what to do :(
i think a lot of the reason im having a hard time getting the wait off is because of relationship issues i am having. I know this isnt a messege board for relationships but im hoping for some advice anyway. Just really need some advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for amost seven years now. He is a very nice guy, and very kind hearted. i think this is what attracted me to him right away is that because of my weight i was often treated crappy by men. i didnt put up with it, but id had my share of heart break so it was refreshing to be around a man who was nice to me. Sometimes im not sure if i was really in love with him when we got together or if it just felt good to have a man treat me well. Either way i have a lot of love for him now that we have been together for song.
The problem is (and has always been) with his family. He financially supports his adult brother and father. his father is disabled and i have no problem with him, but his brother is just lazy and wont get a job. he lives in our garage and plays xbox all day long. Im very resentful of him because we work very hard to put food on the table and he does absolutly nothing to help.
For the past few years i have been trying to get my boyfriend to kick his brother out of our house but he wont do it. he says he cant have his family going homeless and he often helps his bother with his bills. Often times i feel like ive been put on the back burner so he can afford to take care of his family. Im at the point in life where im ready to get married and have children. Whenever i bring it up he tells me he wants to but we just cant afford to.Just seems that while im busy with working full time and cooking and cleanng that im also put last in what i want and need out of our relationship. Ive been hoping he would come to his senses about his brother but i dont think he ever will and it just kills me that something so dumb could ruin our relationship.
I love my boyfriend very much and i think he is a great guy but i just dont know if we will ever be able to get past this. ive considered giving ultamatums but i just dont know if thats the right thing to do. I feel that i deserve to get married and have children and be happy in my life but how can i do this in this situation? im just not sure if this is working for me anymore and it absolutly breaks my heart! The worse part is that latley our sex life has been terrible! we have gone from having sex 3-4 times a week to once or twice every two weeks. ive tried to make things more exciting but he constantly falls asleep early or says hes tired. i just dont know what to do anymore or how to even talk to him without starting an argument. i dont know if i can completly walk away from him but i just know this isnt working for me. Just dont know what to do :(
My mom lived with us and I was always in the middle. It sucked. I tried to make everyone happy, but in the end no one is ever happy.
Would your boyfriend be willing to try a contract?
Say his brother makes a plan, with the both of you, stating X amount of days/hours a week he will look for a job. Come up with a date that he needs to find one by.
Then once he does have a job figure out a monthly amount he needs to give you two to help with the bills.
Your boyfriend is going to have to use some tough love otherwise his brother is just going to use him his whole life. Why should he look for a job?
If he's a grown man, able bodied and doesn't want to get a job, google the local homeless shelters and tell him that's where he's going to end up.
Yes I am mean. But it seems to me like he's taking advantage of you and your boyfriend and I hate that!