There are a lot of people in our group that feel like they are in the same boat. I once hated myself - granted I only weigh 255, I'm still overweight by 130lbs. Once I realized that it's ok to be obese, and that you just need to have an action plan to get back to who you were - I realized what I needed to do, and I am happy and well on my way to getting healthy. YES - it is VERY hard - and I feel that I struggle from time to time, but being a part of this group with such encouraging people is a big plus and motivation. You have to have a reason to live, a reason to lose the weight. I am working towards my goal so that I can feel sexy with my husband and so that I can be healthy enough to have a baby and actually be able to do active thkings with him or her as they grow. You shouldn't hate yourself. I can understand that you're miserable. We all are from time to time, you just need an action plan and the will and determination to stick to it! As for the depression - what is it exactly that is making you depressed? Once you pinpoint the cause of it you can begin to battle it and become the you - you used to know.

We all are in the same boat here, but we can let it get us down! we are all awesome BEAUTFUL women! yes, we might be big but we are on the right path! Getting exercise and eating healthy will make us feel GREAT! keep posting on here so we can help each other. happy new year!

I know what it can be like to weigh over 300 lbs, TC40. At my heaviest weight, I weighed 306. (I currently weigh 270). Although I'm struggling as I continue to work at taking this weight off and having a healthy, non-emotional relationship with food, one of the most precious gifts I've learned to give myself is self-love. But, I had to learn that I'm WORTHY of love - most importantly, of the love I give to myself.

So often, we make the mistake of thinking that because we have a serious weight problem, we not don't love ourselves, we HATE ourselves. I would implore you to work on the way you feel about yourself now TC40, because, I can guarantee you, if you hate yourself at 310 lbs, simply losing weight will not change those feelings. Even if you reach your goal weight, if you don't address and rid yourself of the hatred you feel for yourself, you will do one of two things - 1) Regain the weight you lost because that's what your hatred is focused upon, or 2) Find something else to hate yourself about.

Life can be difficult sometimes, and morbid obesity certainly doesn't make it any easier. Most of us (and not just those of us with serious weight problems) can find ourselves on a downward spiral at one point or another in our lives. The good news is, we can change the direction of the spiral, so that we're soaring rather than plunging. Sometimes we need help to do that, and that's ok.

You mentioned that you suffer from depression and anxiety. There are many really excellent anti-depressants on the market now and perhaps counseling and some self-reflection will help you to deal with the anxiety you speak of.

Nothing good can ever come from hate, and self-hate is the most destructive of all. I would venture to guess that much of the depression and anxiety you're experiencing is a result of your hating yourself, so I would start at working on why you feel so negatively about yourself, then work on turning that around. Counseling works great with things like this, but, there are also great books you can either buy or get from the library that can help you to address how you're feeling and changing it for the better.

We all deserve love, regardless of whether we weigh 125 or 525. Wishing you all the best!

Janice : )

Have you seen a dr for depression or anxiety? I only ask because I did in Oct of 2010. I wanted to be a better mom to my kids and knew I needed something.
My dr put me on lexapro and I was a new person. I dropped nearly 30 lbs in a little over a month.
Sometimes we just have to keep looking for the answers and keep trying and trying to see what works.

@tremorchrist: Kudos to you! Talking to your doctor is ALWAYS the best solution for any problem!

I was talking to a friend today about weight loss and how we can go about it. We also were talking about self esteem and she told me. You have to be as nice to yourself as you are to other people. My councilor is helping me though this time and the way i feel about myself. I am right there with you when it comes to how i feel about myself right now. I working on helping me feel better about me. I hope that you can find someone to help you feel better about your self.

I hope TC read these responses. It breaks my heart to see your post because I feel that same way about myself but I rarely see somebody else say it. Because you said it -- perhaps now you can take steps to at least feel a bit better. We are here to help each other. I'm sorry its taken me so long to log in.

I hope they read the responses as well.