My doctor just called with the test results that they did on the tissue after my D&C. He said all the chromosomes were completely normal. He acted like it was a good thing but I'm feeling really sad about it. All kinds of things are going through my head. If the test results were normal how did this perfectly normal little baby die? Was it something I did? Should I have gotten a second person to look for the heartbeat on the ultrasound? I felt better when I thought there was a problem with the baby, I felt that he or she was better in God's hands. But now, now that I know it was a normal child it's so much harder. No matter how many doctors tell me it's not my fault now I feel that somehow it was. Even if it wasn't something that I personally did for some reason my body would not let this child grow inside me.
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