Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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jordanc 07/12/2007

My wife had a miscarriage two weeks ago. Yesterday, she had a follow-up appt., and the doctor said everything looks fine. She had to have blood drawn to check hormone levels, but the doctor thinks everything looks fine. I know my wife will probably want to start trying again before the end of the year. I'm scared for her, and I will be ready when she is. The only problem is, how should I ask her about this, taking into consideration what happened? How long should I wait? Are there signs I should look for that may indicate she may be ready to start trying again? I just want to take her emotional needs into consideration when talking to her about this, but I am a little clueless as to how. If you have any advice from the female perspective, please help!!!

Tray34 07/12/2007

I am glad she is doing well.Make sure you are there for her and talk to her.When she is ready I am sure she will tell you.Let her know that you are there for her to talk to whenever and that she can talk to you about anything.Listen to her.You will know when she is ready.It wont be easy and you both will have mixed emotions,am I ready or not..But time will tell..Good luck to you both.

deleted_user 07/12/2007

I think it is great that you are taking into concideration her emotional state, it shows that you truly care for her. I think when she is truly ready she will start talking about trying again. If and when you do broch the subject, tell her about your concerns and that you dont want to upset her. I know for me all I want is my husband to be honest with me about how he feels, and not months or years later. Right now it is to early, it will and does get better. I would not have said that to you a month ago, but not all my days are bad days anymore. Just be there for her as much as you can be now, and be ready to talk about it when she tells you she needs to talk. If either of you needs to talk let me know. You will be in my prayers,
Michelle

Shady78 07/12/2007

First of all let me give you kudos for being there for your wife. My husband was with me every step of the way, sometimes by my side, sometimes holding me up. Please start by giving her time, she is going to go through many emotions, ups and downs. I would say keep the communication open! There were times when I wanted to block my husband and kids out, but he brought me back. My doctor recommended waiting until after the 1st cycle before starting to try again. If your wife is anything like me she will want to start as soon as she can. I guess what I am saying is just listen to her.

deleted_user 07/12/2007

I am sorry for your loss. It is encouraging that your wife has a supporting husband that wants to know how to help.
2 weeks may be a little too soon to start bringing up trying again. Perhaps waiting until she approaches the subject. Personally, I have had 4 m/c and could not even think about trying again until after I had my first cycle after my D&C.
Good luck to you... you are a great support system for your wife!

deleted_user 07/12/2007

You will know when your wife is ready. She will let you know. Just wait it out. Just be a good listener. Time heals even the deepest wounds. Sometimes just trying again helps a woman get over her loss a great deal. Ideal timing is a myth. As long as you love each other and medically she is cleared then go for it. I'm not sure how old your wife is, but as a woman gets older she does subconsciously or consciously feel more in a rush. Good luck. We are here if you need any advice.

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