Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
I came totally clean with my boyfriend today.... I told him everything that happened a year ago...about the baby, the rape, all of it.... he freaked out ... :( He said I fucked up and hurt him really bad.... but then he said "You ruined my day, not my life... I still love you, I'm not leaving you. I can't lose you."
and he kept saying "It's okay baby"....He told me not to talk to the dad ever again....which isn't a problem, I wish I never even met the guy... I just... Feel like I really messed up, and I'm scared I'm gonna lose my boyfriend, but he's all I've got :/ ...is it my fault for losing the baby?...
and he kept saying "It's okay baby"....He told me not to talk to the dad ever again....which isn't a problem, I wish I never even met the guy... I just... Feel like I really messed up, and I'm scared I'm gonna lose my boyfriend, but he's all I've got :/ ...is it my fault for losing the baby?...
You mention a rape. Please don't hesitate to call the local rape hotline (totally anonymous) or see a therapist. That's not your fault either. Ever. I can't emphasize that enough. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone who's been there and according to the director of the local rape hotline where I live, most of the women there have been through it. You are NOT alone.
I don't know your circumstances or whether you "really messed up", but don't despair. There's so much good in store for you down the road. Think about being a kid. When you're a little kid, it seems like every disappointment is the end of the world. But the bad times passed and good times came around again. Even though the bad times have gotten bigger now that we're older, we know we have the strength inside us to survive and move forward and make a good life for ourselves. You have the strength in you.
You sought out this board. I encourage you to seek out live people who can help you through this. Therapy has done wonders for me. Sometimes just talking to a live person who's been through the same thing as you helps.
Maybe all this crazy and anonymous advice was more therapeutic for me than for you. :) I'm sitting here alone on Thanksgiving feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I need to remember that I have strength, too. :)
Good luck to you, YouAreMyForever. I'll be praying for you!!
I will say that too honey, miscarriage is NOT your fault!! Neither is rape, but unfortunately we are the ones left carrying the scars of both.
How old is your boyfriend? Guys tend to react like that when they don't know how to cope with a situation. You told him you were hurt, and that you were pregnant and lost a baby, and he couldn't protect you both! He didn't even know!! That must be hard for him to deal with, especially when he had no idea that something so tragic had happened. But NEVER think you have done the wrong thing to speak about this!! He just didn't react in a very mature fashion hun, and I am guessing that is due to his age.
How are you doing now love? xx