Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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Second Trimester Miscarriage

deleted_user
deleted_user
I found out a few days ago at my scheduled ob appointment that was to find out the sex of my baby that there was no heartbeat. I was 18 weeks along. I am in shock--not because I never would expect a problem or a miscarriage--but at how far along the pregnancy went and no indication of any problems. I have other children and have never experienced a miscarriage so I have been so lucky. I am having a hard time accepting how far along I am and I have to give birth to the baby. This is devastating for me. I just don't understand why something didn't happen in the first trimester if things were not right. I am dreading going to the hospital tomorrow to have the baby. My doctor is inducing labor and wants me to deliver vaginally. I am scared medically because all I have ever had is c-sections and I dread just being in the labor and delivery area with all the babies and pregnant happy women. I don't even know the sex of the baby because the ultrasound tech couldn't see since the baby wasn't moving. I am sorry to ramble. I just wanted advice from those of you that had to give birth to your babies and how you handled/coped with the whole ordeal of loss and the birth process. Thanks for any advice.
EELC
EELC
I am so sorry you're going through this. My latest loss was 12 weeks, so I haven't been through what you're going through. But there are a lot of women on this site who have lost babies at 17 -23 weeks, and I'm sure they'll be posting soon. But I wanted to give you a virtual *hug* in the mean time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my twins at 25 weeks, but I nearly lost them already at 21 weeks... You might want to join the stillbirth group? You are in my thoughts
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was 19 weeks when I lost my daughter to a incompentant cervix. I had to also have a vaginal delivery. I didnt know what she was till I had her. She weighed 8 ounces and was 8 inches long. I did name her it helped alot. I also had a little service at the funeral home with me and my babys daddy. It was nice. She is burried with all the babies at the cemetary. I also got a copy of her footprints and handprints. I held her for three days. I think it helped me get through things by getting to spend time with her. I also got to take pictures. I hope everything goes ok. Let me know how things go.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I want to thank all of you for writing to me. You all sharing your experiences is helping me to get through this. I will think of you all also tomorrow when I deliver. Thank you so much again and I will be writing again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my baby at 19 weeks and went in because i wasn't feeling the baby move any more. The doctor was unable to find a heart beat so they did a sonogram and found that the baby had died. This is a very traumatic time for you and i am sorry you have to go through this. I also have two children and not had any problems with this prenancy which makes it hard to deal with. I hope you find comfort that we are all here for you and will help you through probably one of the most difficult times in your life. if you need to talk i am here for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My heart is truly breaking for you. I carried to 13 1/2 weeks and lost my baby when I started with contractions, followed by my water breaking and delivering my baby in the bathroom at home. While I wasn't as far along as you, I thought I was ok at this point and never ever could have imagined what that horrible day would hold in store for me. You seriously are likely in a state of shock at this time. I will keep your in my thought on Monday that you find the strength you will no doubt need.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for your loss and feel your pain! Not sure if you will read this prior to going to the hospital! Ask them for pain medicine as soon as they induce you! And then have them redose you every hour. It's bad enough knowing that you have to go through labor and delivery and not take a baby home (I've done it three times... but all of mine still had a heartbeat at delivery) you don't need to feel the pain on top of it all.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today and the days to come.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I delivered my baby at 17 weeks vaginally. I had a dilaudid PCA. I would ask for that instead of having intermittent pain medication because with a PCA you can dose yourself whenever you feel pain. I hope that is all you need and you don't need an epidural. It took 12 hours to pass my baby (since the first dose of misoprostol was placed). My water broke after 9 hours, and at 12 hours I went to the bathroom and my baby was delivered in the toilet. I didn't feel any pain at the time, although my baby stopped growing around 14 weeks, so it was smaller (although when i went to my 15 week appointment the heart beat sounded great..)

I feel very lucky that my experience was fast and not very painful, and I had good nurses to help me. I hope you have a similar experience.

I am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
murphy7803--thank you for the post. I am sorry for your loss. I ended up having morphine for pain and I asked for the epidural as soon as the pain increased--I did not want to feel pain. About an hour after the epidural I said a Serenity Prayer out loud to my mom and the baby came out in the bed as I said the last word of the prayer. I never say prayers out loud--- I know that God was with me for this. My baby was delivered after just 10 hours in the unbroken water bag. The nurses had told me it would probably take 24-72 hours to happen so I was so greatful to be able to leave the hospital within less than 24 hours. The hosptial was great and everything was fast so I thank God for that. I am very thankful for this site--it has really helped me deal with my emotions after the baby. I don't feel alone when I read what everyone has been through and it makes me feel like I am not crazy either when I break down some days. I will keep you in my prayers.
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