Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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allie80 08/28/2009

My husband and I found out we were pregnant in July after a year of fertility treaments, and went in for an ultrasound last Friday and found out that there was no longer a heartbeat. It was such a shock and I really thought I might lose my mind for a couple of days. I've never felt anything like it. The following day they inserted some medication into my cervix to induce a miscarriage and after my dr appt today it looks like most everything has passed (although my HCG # is still over 1000 and I'm still bleeding like crazy). Anyway, I'm very happy to find this group because in the days that followed the news last week I think I did something kind of foolish. I'm extremely lucky to have wonderful friends and a very loving supportive family, but I basically told eveyone to leave me alone. I was feeling very irritable and angry and all of the kind and supportive calls, emails,cards, etc. that I was getting just added to my anger (I know, irrational). I felt like nobody could possibly understand and so I didn't want to talk to anybody.

I was sitting here tonight feeling very lonely and sad and sorry for myself, which is crazy because there are so many people I could go to for support, but at this point I feel silly saying, "just kidding, please support me," when I basically told everyone to stay away and that I didn't need them. Anyway, just happy to find a group where I can read others' experiences and hear from people who understand.

deleted_user 08/28/2009

I am so sorry for your loss! I'm 6 weeks post finding out our Kolby didn't have a heartbeat with a D&C the following Monday.

I don't know what you mean by doing something "kind of foolish," but I'm thinking the worst. This group has been amazing for me! The women here are awesome and extremely supportive. I'm grateful that I found this site, despite my supportive husband.

Please keep talking. Extremely important to work through your grief. If you ever need to talk or have any questions, feel free to send me a message.

allie80 08/28/2009

Oh goodness-when I said "something kind of foolish" I just meant by pushing my friends and family away. Nothing bad like you're thinking. Thank you for the kind words. I'm very, very sorry for your loss as well. Kolby is a wonderful name.

deleted_user 08/29/2009

Oh thank you! Our baby's name is Kolby Kayde, and we chose that name before we knew we'd lost her. I have a charm on my bracelet with her name and date of death (date we learned she didn't have a heartbeat). We believe she's a girl because her sister (2yr-old) said she is. Either way, we chose her name regardless of gender. Her older sister's name is Rylie. We also selected that name long before we new the gender.

I understand about pushing family away too. They don't get it. Plus, my sis and SIL are due within a month of me.

Please continue to post. It's important to work through your grief instead of burying it.

deleted_user 08/29/2009

my first reaction also was to hibernate, just push everyone away.I am 4 weeks past D&C and still struggleing. We also did IF treatments, for 3 years. the ladies here are very supportative you have come to the right place.

deleted_user 08/29/2009

Allie, I think what you are feeling is quite normal, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe you could call a friend or family member and just talk, about things other than the loss. You may feel better just having the company.

Please, keep posting here. All the ladies here are quite supportive.

I'm nearly 3 months post miscarriage and I'm still having a tough time.

*HUGS*

deleted_user 08/29/2009

I know exactly what you are going threw we were 13 weeks the first child and you think you are going to lose your mind and there some days i still think i will because are baby is or was due this thursday

deleted_user 08/30/2009

First of all, absolutely anybody who cares about you will support you anyway... they know that you're hurting an inconceivable amount.

I lost my baby at 7 weeks a year and a half ago, and haven't been able to conceive since, a year and a half ago. I pushed everyone away, but focused it on my husband. I know it sounds stupid right now because you're the one with a constant reminder and who feels like your heart has been ripped out, but try to remember that he's hurting too... I didn't and I'm divorced now. Like I said, anyone who cares about you will understand and support you anyway... there's no need to feel silly for asking! :) Of course you also have people here to feel the same things you do (for when you're tired of hearing "everything happens for a reason" and "i know how you feel")

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