Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
I had a pulmonary embolism and almost died two years ago and was told at the time that it would not be advisable to have children in the future. I have had 15 miscarriages and they have looked into every link between the two but cannot find any. We are at the end of the road on this one. My (estranged) dad died last year from PE and two days ago I lost my step dad to pulmonary trauma. I was there at his bedside for 30 hours which wasn't easy and my mum is very traumatized. I invited her over for dinner last night because I am trying not to leave her on her own as she has mentioned suicide. However, my mother-in-law also came over and Facetimed with my sister-in-law who announced that she was pregnant and showed everyone the scans. My mother-in-law was dancing round and whooping with joy and also saying that it was great since she didn't think she was going to be a grandma thanks to my failure. My husband just cannot understand why my mum and me found this so hurtful at this difficult time. He is angry with me for not being joyful for them but he doesn't understand that seeing the scans and all of the joy is so difficult right now. Please - I need opinions over whether I am wrong to feel this way. It is not the news which is upsetting but the way it was broken. Am I being unreasonable??
Personally, I've had a miscarriage, I've had a stillbirth & I've had an infant death. Some people can be so insensitive. But in actuality, some people don't even realize that they're being insensitive.
For example, after I buried my twins my friend texted me (one week after my baby's funeral) & asked me if I want to sell all of my baby stuff I received at my baby shower. My sister & her friend did the same thing. And that really hurt & I let my sister know that I was still a grieving mother; how could you ask such a thing?. She & her friend apologized repeatedly & didn't even know her timing was inappropriate. Some ppl honestly don't know that they are hurting you; especially if they never lost a child of their own.
With regards to men, a lot of men don't dwell on miscarriages like we women do. Especially if it was an early miscarriage. Most likely because they are not the ones who carry the child inside them and most importantly men don't have a biological clock ticking away. There is great concern for us if we have reached the age of 35 and still childless. While men, on the other hand, can have children well in their 60s. A lot of them will never get it. I guess it's just their physiological make up.
Try to find someone who can empathize with you. At least your Mom understands. Stick by your Mom's side as you say she is suicidal. A suicidal person shouldn't be left alone too much.
I hope one day that you get your precious heart's desire.