Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hi, I am new to this group. I really could use a person to talk to that actually understands how I am feeling because it appears nobody in my life does.
I had a miscarriage on Oct 19th of last year. This year has been so hard for me and people think that I am being too emotional and should just be past it as according to them, "It wasnt a baby yet".
I feel like this world is playing a cruel joke on me as on the one year anniversary this year my friend had her baby shower and I got volunteered to make the exciting baby shower cake. And now my friend is due any day now and I feel so upset as I don't know how I can face her or the baby without feeling so heart broken. I know I sound like such a terrible friend, but she doesn't understand how hard it is for me. They weren't even trying and they got pregnant within 3 months (she just said they weren't preventing).
Since my miscarriage happened, I dont feel like myself. My emotions are all over the place, my body hasn't returned to normal, and I have had many er visits because of pains that I have acquired since having this awful event.
I feel cheated as I didn't even know I was pregnant. I know that sounds horrible, but it took 3 years to get pregnant with my first so I didn't think it would happen that fast for us the second time around (and it only took one month). So we were only approx 7 weeks along.
I try to act strong as if everything is ok because the moment I dont, people tell me I need meds for depression or they tell me that I will get another chance to have a baby. I feel guilty too because I waited so long after we had our son because I was scared of adding another baby to the mix and I feel like I am being punished for that. And now, my body wont work at all. I used to be fairly regular and now, I am lucky to have 3 periods in a year. This is so stressful and heartbreaking.
I am so tired of the insensitive comments from everyone that has no clue what this is like. I am so angry at the world and going out and having everyone ask us So when are you guys going to have baby #2 is killing me inside. I just cant believe this is happening to me and I just feel sad and angry 99 % of the time. I always thought that the more time that passes, it would get easier, but its getting harder.
I had a miscarriage on Oct 19th of last year. This year has been so hard for me and people think that I am being too emotional and should just be past it as according to them, "It wasnt a baby yet".
I feel like this world is playing a cruel joke on me as on the one year anniversary this year my friend had her baby shower and I got volunteered to make the exciting baby shower cake. And now my friend is due any day now and I feel so upset as I don't know how I can face her or the baby without feeling so heart broken. I know I sound like such a terrible friend, but she doesn't understand how hard it is for me. They weren't even trying and they got pregnant within 3 months (she just said they weren't preventing).
Since my miscarriage happened, I dont feel like myself. My emotions are all over the place, my body hasn't returned to normal, and I have had many er visits because of pains that I have acquired since having this awful event.
I feel cheated as I didn't even know I was pregnant. I know that sounds horrible, but it took 3 years to get pregnant with my first so I didn't think it would happen that fast for us the second time around (and it only took one month). So we were only approx 7 weeks along.
I try to act strong as if everything is ok because the moment I dont, people tell me I need meds for depression or they tell me that I will get another chance to have a baby. I feel guilty too because I waited so long after we had our son because I was scared of adding another baby to the mix and I feel like I am being punished for that. And now, my body wont work at all. I used to be fairly regular and now, I am lucky to have 3 periods in a year. This is so stressful and heartbreaking.
I am so tired of the insensitive comments from everyone that has no clue what this is like. I am so angry at the world and going out and having everyone ask us So when are you guys going to have baby #2 is killing me inside. I just cant believe this is happening to me and I just feel sad and angry 99 % of the time. I always thought that the more time that passes, it would get easier, but its getting harder.
I have experienced this as well. Both the grief. And also the lack of understanding from most of society. I can count on one hand (and it's not a full hand) the number of people in my life who have been willing to lend a true ear and truly understand the magnitude of the losses I have experienced.
I too have another child. She is 8 years old. And within one year, we experienced 3 miscarriages. One of the babies even had a heartbeat...and last year on New Year's Eve we found out her heart had stopped beating.
I am not the same person as I was before all of this happened. And in many ways...I am a better person. More grateful. More compassionate.
But there is also a sort of hole in my heart because of the losses I have experienced.
And I too am coming up on the one-year anniversary of when we lost the baby last year and the two-year anniversary of the loss of one of the other three babies.
Anniversaries are difficult, especially when they coincide with the holidays. Supposedly the "hap happiest time of the year".
I too grappled with similar feelings that you described. That I waited "too long" to try to have another child because in the early years with my daughter we didn't feel we could handle the responsibility of a second child at the time. And we felt complete enough not to try for another one.
I was almost 33 when I had my daughter. And we didn't start trying for another child until I was 37. And now I am 41 and what came out of this journey were 3 miscarriages. And the realization that we don't want to put ourselves through the possibility of this grief anymore.
I am sorry to hear that you are also still having physical issues related to the pregnancy/loss.
I am also so sorry that this is feeling harder to cope with as more time passes. I find myself going through different phases. Sometimes coping well and sometimes having the sadness and anger hit me all over again.
Would it be possible for you to seek out a therapist? Maybe a grief counselor? Someone who is educated on grief and knows how to help you through this.
It has been helpful for me to go to therapy. Because you're right, most regular people (who have not experienced this) do not know what to say. Nor do they completely understand.
Thinking of you.
I've suffered multiple miscarriages. Loved ones can't possibly say the thigh thing.
Everyone seems to me tacktless and insensitive. My mum had trouble concieving, so she be lives she understands - yet she still says things like ' you don't understand the pain of being a mother, when your child doesn't get what they want,
How can I hear this and nit cry my eyes out. If I had the option for therupy, I'd take it. Get any help you can
You take all the time you need to heal. It's been 7 years since my miscarriage and I am still healing. My family has said very insensitive stuff about my miscarriage too. My best friend at the time said it has been long enough I need to get over it. My dad said what baby? And my nephew said I would have thought that you would have at least one baby by now. And even my niece and I had stopped down at my old home where I had buried my baby and some animal had obviously had died and my niece said what if that is your baby stinking or something like that. And my family has had no problems about asking me about my miscarriage. What happened. What caused it. What it felt like ect.
You are not a bad person for feeling sad/jealous/heartbroken or slighted because your friend is having a baby. Those emotions are very normal.
I am just now getting "OK" with being around my nieces kids and babies.
There's always going to be a piece of you that is missing and that is because your baby is. It is possible to heal. It is on your own time. Hugs.