Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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one of those days

ash17
ash17
I'm 17 (yes I realize I am young so please don't comment on that) and I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks which isstill in the process of finishing. I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that I lost my baby. My family is trying to be supportive but saying things like "something was probably wrong with it" or "you're young and have many years to have babies" doesn't help at all. It makes things worse. My boyfriend doesn't really talk about it so I feel like I can't.I know he is hurting.I'm a senior in high school so no one knew and I find it hard to get through the days.I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I get ok days, good days, and just bad days like today. My emotons are all over the place and I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel guilty all the time. I feel guilty for trying to be happy. I know it wasn't my fault but I feel like it was and if you haven't gone through this then its hard to understand why I belive that. My friend is 15 and she is pregnant and is due in about 3 weeks. I find it hard to talk to her because I get so upset or jealous. I think why can a 15 year carry a baby but I couldn't? I don't know what to do. Any advice on how to cope or anything would be appreciated. Please and thank you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm very sorry for your loss, and I can see why the consolations you are getting wouldn't make you feel better. However, I think the only way to get through this is to get through it -- maybe we will come out better on the other side. Try some breathing meditation or exercise to clear your mind, and try to take refuge in your own strength. You will survive this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi, i think its one of the worse thingsin the world having no one to talk to/hep you through this time or if they do for them to make comments like that,which are naturally insensitive. its natural for you to think that way about your friend, it doesnt make you a bad person for feeling that way, its a reaction loads of people have (one of my friends is pregnant and every posting of hers on fb is a pic of her bump etc, it makes me want to scream). have you thought of writin things down? i fnd it quite 'soothing' (in a way) to just be able to have it written down and find some 'release' in that helps a bit. i hope this has helped you in some way, i know my reply is long, so sorry about that! take care, if you want to message me and talk then your more than welcome, if that helps
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey babe, I'm so sorry about the pain you must endure during this time. I know this is a hard road, and I'm just going to be honest with you ... there are few things that people who haven't lost a child can say to soothe or ease this pain. This isn't a feeling we should even know how to handle ... losing our child. And your age? Babe, that doesn't matter. The age doesn't determine what makes your heart know it's a mommy ... you're forever linked to your baby.

I just wanna say that you take care of you. If you need to talk you can always message or add me, my name is Rebecca. My niece and nephew were born a year ago, but they're mommy is a teen ... much younger than me, and sometimes it's hard, but i love those babies and their mommy. I hope your love for this baby will outweigh the pain of seeing someone younger carry a child.

Love always, Rebecca
harpee8
harpee8
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand not having someone to talk to. My husband can understand only so much but being the mother and carrying the baby makes an unbreakable bond. I had the same feelings you did because my sister in law got pregnant and did everything wrong in her pregnancy. When i got pregnant I ate and did everything I was told to by the doctors and I lost my baby and she had a little girl. I love my little niece but ever since my miscarriage I can't look at a picture of her or even talk about her without my heart hurting. All that runs through my head it isn't fair. So you aren't alone in any of your feelings. We have to grieve for our loss and at the same time have all these hormones running through our bodies which just make every emotion 10x more amplified. I am here if you'd like to talk to anyone at any time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey ash i am so sorry you are having to go through this . my heart goes out to you.