Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Everyday is a roller coaster ride for me, and I'm trying my best to move forward. But as all of you know, it can be VERY difficult. On top of all this, I now face a pretty big challenge. Three of my bf's closest friends are going to give birth over the next several months. One is due in June, one in July and one on October 7 (which is only a couple days before I was suppose to give birth). While my bf is thrilled for his friends, I'm in a PANIC. The idea of having to deal with three growing bellies and three birth annoucements over the next several months, is killing me. On top of that, another one of his friends is having a 1st b-day party for his son next month and all three pregnant ladies will be there. I'm in a major debate about whether or not I should go. I want to support his friends son, and my bf, but I think seeing a bunch of babies and pregnant ladies might make me have a nervous breakdown or something. My bf thinks I need to support his friends and be happy for them b/c they are all overjoyed. He thinks my not going to the 1st b-day party, or staying away from his pregnant friends as much as possible, will hurt their feelings or make them think we arent happy for them. But I think that being around them and then breaking down would not only be harmful to me emotionally but more uncomfortable for everyone than me just simply keeping my distance. Its also difficult b/c none of them knew I was pregnant or that I lost the baby, since my bf and I werent telling until the second trimester. Right now I just want to distance myself from anything baby related, but at the same time I dont want to seem rude, or offend people causing them to not support me when I have baby someday. I'm not sure what to do...Do any of you have the same issues or advice.
Since your friends don't know you were pregnant, you may be able to share something with them without telling them the whole story. You might just send them a note/email/whatever is easiest for you...that you've been through some difficult things recently and it's difficult for you to be in certain situations right now. You can also keep in mind that even if you do go to their showers, and you do get upset and cry....that would be ok. Sometimes it's healing to let your friends see that you are in pain, and let them be supportive for you.
Bottom line, you have every right to be a little selfish and take care of yourself right now...and if there are situations you don't feel like you can handle right now, it's ok to just say you're very sorry but you won't be able to make it.
Robin