Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
I am new to this group. I just turned 38 2 months ago and I just went through my 2nd miscarriage in 6 months. The first one was a surprise pregnancy, I found out when I went to a fertility specialist I had seen to do my surgery to remove my uterine septum. We think the first miscarriage was, at least in part, due to the uterine septum. I miscarried at 9w1d, though it was a missed miscarriage and I didn't find out until my 11th week that the baby no longer had a heartbeat and had stopped growing 2 weeks before. I had a D&C for that one. I had the uterine septum surgery in February and he also did exploratory laproscopy to check everything out and said that everything looked healthy and normal and that he did not see any reason why I should have any problems getting pregnant and carrying a child.
So on my 2nd cycle after the surgery, I get pregnant. I had 3 early ultrasounds at 6w, 7w, and 8w. The baby measured small the first ultrasound, there was little growth from the 1st to the 2nd, and the 3rd showed no growth at all since the previous week and the heartbeat was very faint. At that point I knew it was a matter of time before I would miscarry. Two weeks ago, the miscarriage started on it's own and I went through it naturally, with the help of Cytotec. The doctor just said that it was most likely due to a chromosomal abnormality caused by poor egg quality. He did not suggest saving the tissue for testing, so I didn't.
I am to meet with him on Friday to go over testing to rule out any kind of hormonal, immunological, or other medical reason for these miscarriages. I am considering the chromosomal testing on my husband and I to see if we have any issues with our chromosomes that, when "merged" together, cause a problem that makes miscarriage inevitable. Has anyone done this and what is your experience or your thoughts on it? I am interested to hear from everyone, whether you've done it or not. We have already made the decision that we will not do pre-implantation screening through IVF and that if it comes to IVF, we will just look into adoption versus investing in IVF. So since we have already made that decision, is the chromosomal testing worth it if they can't do anything about it if a problem is discovered?
In case it matters, my husband has 2 healthy children from a previous marriage. I do not have any biological children yet.
I appreciate your thoughts and opinions!!
So on my 2nd cycle after the surgery, I get pregnant. I had 3 early ultrasounds at 6w, 7w, and 8w. The baby measured small the first ultrasound, there was little growth from the 1st to the 2nd, and the 3rd showed no growth at all since the previous week and the heartbeat was very faint. At that point I knew it was a matter of time before I would miscarry. Two weeks ago, the miscarriage started on it's own and I went through it naturally, with the help of Cytotec. The doctor just said that it was most likely due to a chromosomal abnormality caused by poor egg quality. He did not suggest saving the tissue for testing, so I didn't.
I am to meet with him on Friday to go over testing to rule out any kind of hormonal, immunological, or other medical reason for these miscarriages. I am considering the chromosomal testing on my husband and I to see if we have any issues with our chromosomes that, when "merged" together, cause a problem that makes miscarriage inevitable. Has anyone done this and what is your experience or your thoughts on it? I am interested to hear from everyone, whether you've done it or not. We have already made the decision that we will not do pre-implantation screening through IVF and that if it comes to IVF, we will just look into adoption versus investing in IVF. So since we have already made that decision, is the chromosomal testing worth it if they can't do anything about it if a problem is discovered?
In case it matters, my husband has 2 healthy children from a previous marriage. I do not have any biological children yet.
I appreciate your thoughts and opinions!!
I am so sorry about your losses.
I wanted to comment because we too have had two losses within the last 6 months and we did go ahead and do the balanced translocation (chromosome) testing. I am 40 and my husband is 42. We do have one living child...she is 7 years old.
I just wanted to forewarn you (but am hoping that your dr. told you this) that it is an expensive test.
We have decent insurance and have already met our deductible for the year...so I was shocked when I looked at my Aetna claims online the other day and saw that we are going to owe $900 for this test (that we had done on both of us).
I wish we had been told it would be so costly because we probably wouldn't have gotten the test done.
The dr. took the time to tell me the difference in cost for different brands of progesterone suppositories...but it must have slipped his mind to mention how expensive this genetic test would be. He just said it was a simple blood test and made no mention of cost.
So I just wanted to forewarn you about cost.
Our tests came back normal.
My understanding is that you can still have children even if you have this issue....but approximately 3 out of 4 pregnancies may end in miscarriage. And exactly like you said, if they find you have it, there isn't anything they can do about it.
Did your dr. give you an idea of how likely he thinks this is for you?
Our RE told us that he felt there was a less than 5 % chance that the results would come back positive. (all the more reason why we would not have had it done had we known about cost)
It does feel good though to get things checked off the list to rule out any possible obvious causes. I also had the immunology bloodwork panel done, blood clotting panel, etc. and that all came back fine.
And I had a saline u/s to rule out a septum or other abnormality and that came back fine.
I have received similar news as you. I had laparoscopic surgery in Dec. (related to the first miscarriage) and was told by the RE that everything looks good--ovaries, tubes.
So I felt very hopeful with the second pregnancy.
Anyway, in terms of it is worth it to do the test---I would first look into cost/call your insurance company. And if cost isn't a concern for you, I guess I would consider how you would feel if you find out either of you has this issue.
My husband didn't feel strongly about getting the test done because he said we'd keep trying to get pregnant anyway and finding out positive results can leave you feeling unnecessarily discouraged when you can have a successful pregnancy...the odds are just lower.
So I agree, it's a difficult decision.
I wish you well with what you decide.
I am 38 but my husband is 44 and I know that he has Factor V Leiden, but the RE said that this would not affect the baby at all since it is coming from the father and not affecting me. Outside of that, I don't know of anything that could cause a problem. My sister seems to think that we know what the probable cause is of the first one (the uterine septum), and that this one was probably just a fluke. But this has been so painful for me, that I just don't think I can go through this again without at least checking into it a little further to rule some things out.
Has your RE ever mentioned using Femara, not to stimulate ovulation, but to help increase egg quality? I have read about it, but I don't know of anyone who has done it or even what my RE thinks of that yet. Just curious....
The cost of the test for each of us was $758...so $1,500 and after insurance, we are going to owe a total of $924.
I can understand your feeling of not wanting to go through this emotional pain again. I have felt like that at times. And then once ovulation is approaching, my mindset improves :) and I want to keep trying.
My RE has not recommended any drugs for me at this time. I do have severe endometriosis....but I have been going for acupuncture/Chinese medicine treatment for that for the past 1-1/2 years.
So I pretty much see him for all my concerns. And I just see the RE for consults...not treatments.
A year ago at this time, we didn't even think pregnancy was possible, which is what made those two babies such blessings.
I know my RE has said he wouldn't recommend Clomid (is Femara similar?) b/c I am prone to large ovarian cysts (from the endometriosis) and drugs like that can cause me to grow them.
When they did the surgery in December, despite endometriosis on my bladder, diaphragm, liver and behind my uterus....they said my ovaries and tubes look good.
Their feeling is that the endometriosis is not playing a role in the miscarriages. B/c endo usually (if it's going to cause an issue) gets in the way of implantation but I've had two implantations with these pregnancies.
So yes, it is a mystery. And I do wonder if it is my age.
I consider the possibility that due to my age, I may need to go through loss before a healthier egg is fertilized?
The RE feels hopeful for us...despite the losses and says that a 2nd m/c is not predictive of a third.
He said there are some minor things they can offer (baby aspirin, progesterone, etc.) to increase my chance of a good outcome but he said it would increase things by such a small percent that there would be no way of knowing if maybe success would have happened on its own and that I don't even need these things.
I did try progesterone in May but had terrible side effects.
I'm not bothering with the baby aspirin because I don't have a clotting disorder.
So my acupuncturist has me on a new formula that can help address some of the things that progesterone can....but without the side effects.
So I try to think of the losses....as overwhelmingly difficult as it has been....as just things not working out but not necessarily as indicators that I can't bear another child.
And that those little lives were just meant to be in my life for the short amount of time that they were.
I have a friend who is now 46. She has two children. Her youngest is 7 years old. She was 39 when she got pregnant with her. And prior to that pregnancy she had 3 miscarriages, which included a failed IVF.
She was also in early menopause at this age.
So the dr. was talking egg donor to her after all of losses.......said there is probably a problem with the eggs due to her age.
She had given up all hope and tried to move forward with her life. She became sick (or so she thought) and so she was getting tested for a gallbladder problem b/c she was having digestive issues and weight loss.......and discovered during that u/s that she was 16 weeks pregnant :) That pregnancy is now a 7 year old girl :)
She had irregular periods due to the start of menopause and so she didn't notice a missed period and b/c of the losses she just didn't believe she was pregnant so she really thought it was a gallbladder issue.
So "miracles" can happen and maybe they aren't even miracles but just things happening on life's own timetable.
I tell you this story in hopes that it will give you hope.
I know how important hope is during this journey.
Thanks for letting me know.
My first miscarriage and D&C were awful, and happened right before the winter holidays. It just so happens we also lost a dear, dear friend days before finding out our pregnancy wasn't viable, so our sorrow was eclipsed by the universe's cruel example of perspective. The second time around, I could afford to be slightly more selfish, and it was harder. Even though our enthusiasm was somewhat dampened when we learned we were pregnant, we thought that it was highly unlikely I'd miscarry again. And then I did.
We didn't learn we were pregnant until I was about 6 weeks the first time, and our first ultrasound was at about 10 weeks and there was no fetal stem. Nothing but an empty sac. Possibly a blighted ovum, we don't really know. The second time, we found out at 2 weeks. Our first ultrasound was at 5 weeks and measured somewhat small. The second ultrasound, where we were hoping to hear a heartbeat, was done without being displayed on a screen and we had to wait all day for the results; the fetus had decreased in size.
We're hopeful though because we get pregnant very easily. I credit my husband with that. I had a pituitary condition that caused me to stop ovulating temporarily when I was in my 20s. I thought we would never be able to conceive so easily. I was half right.
We are moving forward with chromosomal testing. I'm waiting for my doctor's office to call with the referral so we can move forward. I don't want to get pregnant after my next cycle (which should be in a week or two), even if there's only a 5% chance this could happen again. I don't want another D&C, I hate anesthesia, and it's just too much. I want it to be another fluke. The silly universe handing us what we can take because maybe someone else couldn't. So, we'll wait a month until we can get tested and find out if there's anything more going on than our ages. I'm 36 and my husband is 35 (that's right, ladies). Neither of us has ever had children and I've only tried not to get pregnant before.
Anyway, I hope you both keep posting and wish you the BEST of luck.