First of all I think you are a wonderful man/husband to be asking questions.The pain does get better with time.The tears slow down.Grieve,grieve however and whenever you need to.Alone and with your wife.Talk to each other.Be there for each other.this pain is felt by both parties but in somewhat different ways.My heart goes out to you and your wife.I will be sending you both thoughts and prayers.Take care and together you two will get through this.Hugs.

First I want to tell you that I'm so sorry for your loss.
The pain does get less intense, but its going to take alot of time and healing. I must say though that I have to commend you, because you are by far the first guy I've seen who seems to truely get how hurtful a miscarriage is. You should let yourself experience
all of the grief, pain and anger you might be feeling, because as hard as it might be, its the only way to truely move on. Every person who goes through this has their own timeline for how long it will take to over come. I wont lie to, there will be days that yu feel like your heart is so heavy that you cant breathe, or where you think you are doing fine and then all of the sudden something makes you remember the horrible loss you've just experienced. However, I promise you that one day the tears will slowly stop flowing and that the numbness you have will eventually go away. Its just going to take time.

It will linger and you will have the loss in your heart. It will get better. The feelings become less intense but it will hit you every once in a while. The shock of it all will ease. I got two tattoos to help me with my grief. But be strong for your wife and get her to come here and bang it out. That is what has helped me when my fiance is not home.
Just be there for each other.

First and foremost I just want to thank you for stepping forward about your situation. Most men dont. I would give your wife space to grieve but at the same time be there when she needs you. My hubby was amazing when I had my miscarriage. He took off work got my house in order and was at the hospital practically the whole time when I had my d&c. All to many people these days are dismmissing miscarriages as something minor, something to be gotten over quickly. I had someone say to me about 1 or 2 months after my miscarriage " arent you over that yet" This hurt in the hugest amount. Its been almost 1 year and i still get teary eyed once in a while. It sounds to me like your doing the best u can. Keep up the good work

It's beautiful for you to come on this web-site JordanC,thank you for sharing. It's been a week and 3 days for my boyfriend and I. The pain for me has not subsided but the time spans in which I feel I've been able to smile and have a laugh here and there have gradually increased. I've had glimpes of hope toward returning to my normal routine. I went to a counselor today for the first time since my m/c and she said to me "don't push yourself to heal, the more you rush to heal the harder it will be to accomplish this". She also said I should avoid comparing myself to others so that my grief be my own with no pressure to be "quicker than" or within the "normal" range. I was so determined to return to work today and I explained to her that I just want to get on with grieving so I can live and feel normal again. After that appointment and a melt down before, during and after, I decided it's best to take her advice and simply grieve and cry until I feel ready to do something different. I spoke to my boss and took another week off. Take some time to honestly feel everything you need to feel in order to move eventually move forward. Also, please welcome your wife to this site, we'd love to offer support to her too. Hugs to you and your wife.

I must admit that i never thought in my life that a man could feel so close to the way a woman feels when a baby is lost. I just want to thank you because reading your words makes me realize that that was far from the truth. I thank god that she has you to help her feel what she is feeling and also help her to fill that emptiness back up as much as possible. It will never go away but it will get better. The only good thing I feel about this kind of loss is that when we finally get to hold our babies we feel it so much deeper then others. I think that we all who must go through this will be better parents and partners as well because even though it rips you hearts it will bring a connection to the both of you that nothing eles can bring. Express yourself in every way andlet her see you cry the best thing you can do for her is let her know that you feel every thing just as deeply. Trust me i didnt have that and I wouldve given anything for it.

Feel all the pain and go through it- i know how hard it is. My partner and i spent about two days crying and trying to come to terms with it all and its a lot to get your head around. I had a m/c two months ago and although i no longer cry every day i still think about it most of the time. I think the first two weeks are the worst and then it vaguely gets better- some days now it all hits me and its like its just happened and i'll shout and scream at my partner and he just holds me and lets me go through it untill i calm down. I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions and i'm still not stable, but slowly getting there. It sounds like you are doining all you can do by being supportive to your wife, i know it must be awful watching her going through the grief but i think you need to go trough it to get out the other side if that makes sense. I am always here if you need to vent.

After my m/c's, I would cry and get angry every time I saw something on tv about women having babies. I would get a sense of hatred in me. Why are they able to have babies and not me? Now, whenever I see a pregnant woman, I try not to look. I don't want to get those feelings back in me. I don't know if the pain ever goes away, but it does seem to get easier. I have not given up hope of having a baby someday. Hugs to you and your wife. She is lucky to have you. Thanks for listening.

I am sorry for your loss! Your wife is very lucky to have you and that is what you need to do is just be there for her. Don't hide your pain. She needs to know that you are suffering too. I think my greiving it will allow you to process things better so that you can heal and the numbness will lessen. I don;t think it will ever go away but it will be manageable. Good luck and God bless you both!