I'm so sorry. I often feel the same way.

But the truth is ...

You're not at fault. This was not something you could control.

Sending you some strength and love to get through today.

Thank You so much....How are you coping?? Its been really hard for me I always feel like a part of me is missing.

It's been a little over a month. This past weekend I thought I was doing well. But I've discovered I'm kind of just going through the motions and then experience really extreme moments of anxiety where I can't get my brain to slow down. I'm feeling anxious about letting go and starting again. I feel guilty all the time, especially when I sit with my husband and think what I loss and what I may never give him. Of course, he tells me all the right things: he's hurting too, he hates to see me in so much pain, he didn't marry me because I'm a baby making machine, etc. He holds me and loves me. I wish it were enough to snap me out of the feelings of loneliness and fear. And when I get on a anxiety bender, he tries to tell me nothing has to be decided now ... but I'm such a planner. I'm such a control freak that I want to know everything - all the details of what we will do when it doesn't work, when I fail again. It's an ugly never ending cycle.

I've been trying to keep myself busy with loads of work and visiting with the few friends I've managed to retain since the first miscarriage (one in May and again in July). I just feel lonely. Somedays it helps to post and comment here. Somedays it brings back all those emotions. But I guess it's part of the grief process. So they say.

I hope your day gets a little better. And that tomorrow brings a little joy for you.

I wish you didn't feel that way but I think we all do. I just lost my baby, going on now 4 days. I was only 3 weeks pregnant. I just had a visit with my primary care physician yesterday who kept on telling me that it wasn't my fault but I didn't believe him.

All I kept thinking were all these questions that may not be consequential to my doctor but are to me. Am I too old? I'm 35 years old. Am I too overweight? My doctor didn't think I was obese. Is there something wrong with my eggs? Is there something wrong with my uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries? Should I have traveled last week? I had to go to NY for my MIL's funeral. Did I stress too much?

I keep thinking all these things and it's driving me crazy. I can't help it. I'm beating myself up. Crying myself to sleep. Thinking about a baby that will never be. It's just not fair.

Life should treat all of us better than this.

Wanting to protect those we love, especially children, from anything and everything that can hurt them is normal. This is true with a baby in our belly and even more so with one who has made it out in the world.

I think part of the grief of a miscarriage is grieving the realization that there are limits to our power to protect even when we really really love..

As women, our true instinct is to nurture so I think it is only natural to feel some self-guilt when pregnancy ends in the loss of our babies. We live our lives trying to take care of everyone around us; our husbands, boyfriends, friends, family, children, even co-workers.... and we immediately question if we didn't take good enough care of our unborn baby when loss happens.
I too have questioned what I could have done better and what I did wrong, with each of my 4 losses. I still sometimes find myself beating myself up over it even though the logical side of me knows that this was truly out of my hands. There was nothing I could have done differently and what is done is done.

I'm so sorry you are going through this rough time and just know, like others have said here, that you are not at fault. Hang in there and never give up hope. HUGS TO YOU.