Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
I feel like a lot of you already know my story, but here you go anyway.
I'm almost 30 with severe endo, been TTC since I got married 4 and a half years ago. After 2 surgeries we finally did IVF with ICSI. Our fresh transfer didn't work, and neither did our first FET. We transferred our last 2 blasts and to my complete shock I got pregnant with twins.
Twin B passed around 5w3d. I'm now 8w2d and we're waiting for Twin A to die so we can do a D&C. The heart rate was only 80bpm at 7 weeks and dropped to 70bpm at 8 weeks so there is absolutely no hope.
I hate that this is happening. It isn't fair. I hate that I want A to just die already so I can get this over with. I hate that it's holding on and fighting when there's nothing good that can come of it. I hate that I keep dreaming that it was all a mistake and they're both just fine and measuring right on schedule with perfect little heartbeats. I hate that my whole life this is all I ever wanted and I'm never going to get to meet them.
I hope it doesn't start naturally. I really want the D&C. I know they don't normally do genetic testing for your first SAB but in my mind, this is two separate miscarriages. All the things I've read say it's more common to only miscarry one, especially since they are clearly fraternal. Does anyone have any words of wisdom on this front?
I'm almost 30 with severe endo, been TTC since I got married 4 and a half years ago. After 2 surgeries we finally did IVF with ICSI. Our fresh transfer didn't work, and neither did our first FET. We transferred our last 2 blasts and to my complete shock I got pregnant with twins.
Twin B passed around 5w3d. I'm now 8w2d and we're waiting for Twin A to die so we can do a D&C. The heart rate was only 80bpm at 7 weeks and dropped to 70bpm at 8 weeks so there is absolutely no hope.
I hate that this is happening. It isn't fair. I hate that I want A to just die already so I can get this over with. I hate that it's holding on and fighting when there's nothing good that can come of it. I hate that I keep dreaming that it was all a mistake and they're both just fine and measuring right on schedule with perfect little heartbeats. I hate that my whole life this is all I ever wanted and I'm never going to get to meet them.
I hope it doesn't start naturally. I really want the D&C. I know they don't normally do genetic testing for your first SAB but in my mind, this is two separate miscarriages. All the things I've read say it's more common to only miscarry one, especially since they are clearly fraternal. Does anyone have any words of wisdom on this front?
We had a third miscarriage in December. And her heart rate was 100 the day before Christmas...then 90 4 days later and then 4 days later it was no longer beating.
It is so heartbreaking and it shattered me to a million pieces.
I can relate to the feeling of knowing that everything is probably not OK and having to endure the slowest passage of time (days felt like weeks) to wait for your little one die a slow death. It is so sad. There are not words for this experience.
I too was worried that the miscarriage would start naturally. Since it was our third loss within one year, I wanted to have chromosomal testing done this time.
On New Year's Eve (a Tuesday) we found out she passed way. I was about 8 weeks. And of course since it was a holiday they couldn't do the D&C until Friday. I was so scared the process would start naturally at home which I did not want to go through. And I wanted the chromosomal testing and therefore needed a D&C to enable that to happen.
They assured me that things would not happen that quickly and that if I stayed on the progesterone suppositories it could help slow down the loss process all the more.
It ended up they were right. Because 3 days later I had the D&C. Nothing had happened at home.
The chromosomal test ended up giving us no answers. Occasionally this happens. The baby's chromosomes were normal. So we don't know why she passed away.
If this is something you are interested in....just thought I'd mention it just in case...ask your hospital if you can have the remains (after the D&C) transferred to a funeral home for cremation.
This is what we did and it brought us a lot of comfort to have her remains respectfully handled in the end.
We didn't have that comfort with the previous 2 miscarriages and I wish we did.
I'm fairly certain that you can have chromosomal testing done whether it's your first or fourth miscarriage.
I have a friend who has had several miscarriages and she found out with each one that it was a different chromosomal problem for each.
I don't think you need to be a recurrent miscarriage patient to have this done.
Thinking of you.
My heart breaks for you and the fact you are going through this.
After my mc I told my husband I would not wish one on anyone and it makes me so sad when a friend like you is experiencing the same thing.
Even though this is your first mc, I would say go ahead and push for the testing, especially if it will give you a peace of mind knowing whatever the results may be. Also, since the first two transfers did not take, I feel like it would be worth doing the test, maybe give you answers in general?
Thinking of you hun and sending you lots of love!
I think the transfer of the remains to a funeral home for a proper burial or handling might really give you comfort. My dear friend who lost her son had his remains put into a beautiful silver teardrop pendant. Perhaps a piece of jewelry might bring you some comfort.
Hearing my RE tell me there was no heartbeat was one of the most devastating moments. I thought I'd shatter to a thousand pieces.
I think testing sounds like a good idea for peace of mind. Not that it changes anything, but I know for me, it was so important.
Sending you hugs and strength.
Hugs!!
In my case, the heartbeat started off low - at 112 at 6.3 wks. It recovered following week, but a week after, no heartbeat.